So the football season has reached the point where even the most reddest of red Scousers has to admit defeat. That the ‘almost quadruple’ will have to wait til next year. Because even if Manchester City lose a match, which they won’t, they need to lose by 7 goals. Or thereabouts. Which, in terms of mathematical probability, is about the same as getting a wrong number on the phone from a life-form in another galaxy, on the same day you won 35 million quid on the lottery. And bumped into Elvis, in Brent Cross. Not gonna happen. City are too strong, and that’s without Erling Haaland, Europe’s new Harry Kane from Norway via Dortmund. Who joins them this summer. On apparently in the region of 200k a week. And as that’s only 10 million a year, it won’t affect Man City’s strict adherence to the Financial Fair Play rules, which they piss all over every fucking year. No, no, you must understand, please, Etihad airlines nusssink to do with Etihad stadium, vot vere you tinking???? And Sheikh Mansoor, Mr Chairman, is completely different Sheikh Mansoor who sign personal cheque to club each year, all perfectly honest and not corrupt at all, honest please…

Because no-one cares about Man City. Not today. Not tonight. This evening, all eyes are on the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium of White Hart Lane where my ‘lillywhites’ (who play in blue) take on the Arsenal of Scumsville-just-down-the-road. In what can only be described as the biggest north London derby since the last one. Possibly bigger. Because Spurs and the Arse are in the battle for 4th place. A two horse race with only one winner. And to that winner goes the spoils. European Champions League entry, glory, money and finishing above their rivals. To the loser goes the ignominy of the Europa Cup of sorrow, just some pocket money and the abject shame of seeing your name listed below the enemy.

And tonight we see… who gets a bit closer. It ain’t totally over until the fat lady sings on the last day of the season but unless Arsenal (heaven forbid 1000 times, pth, pth, pth) win tonight, or possibly draw, its still open for both teams to self-destruct as they’ve been doing on and off all season. Spurs and Arsenal between them this season have lost 43 ‘easy wins’, just to prove a point really.

So may the best team win. Which is Spurs. If Arsenal win I’ll throw all my toys out the pram and cry. But if Spurs win? IF SPURS WIN??? Then we’ll probably lose to Burnley on Sunday and we’ll all wonder why we got so excited in the first place.

Nervy Thursday

A xxxx