Well that’s it then. Decided. The rabble have gone, the chaff blown away in the wind, all that’s left is ‘the two’. France versus Argentina to decide the championship of the entire fucking WORLD!!!

And, of course, I’d like to point out that the ‘World Cup’, unlike all American sporting competitions nominally ‘world’ this or that, actually means, like, sort of, ‘the whole world’. Not just the little bit between Florida and San Diego, which no-one other than Donald Trump cares about anyway.

France and Argentina. From a footballing perspective it is indeed quite tantalising. But then you have to consider who you really want to lose more. And that’s where it gets quite difficult. Do I wear my “10 MESSI” shirt? Or paint my face that horrible tricoleur and hope it doesn’t rub off on my shirt?

We’ve had more wars with France than any other nation. Although, thankfully, all are historic. Yet the reason for those wars still applies. They are a horrible nation of arrogant, smug ‘orribles, with exceptionally good looking women who can bring you to near orgasm just by having a conversation with you about bus time tables.

Argentina is also home to exceptionally beautiful women and is one of my favourite places on the planet. But we had a war with them in 1982 over a little island no-one gives a shit about. And I truly love little Leo Messi. But when they beat the Netherlanders last week on penalties they disgraced themselves by being horribly unsportsmanlike. All of ‘em. Which was the only instance of such nastiness in the whole tournament. And it left a sour taste.

But then you have to think: Mbappe and Messi… the absolute upcoming star of the game against the best ever(??? Another debate entirely). And of course, they’re teammates at (Qatari-owned) PSG, which adds yet more layers. The main difference is that if you take out Messi (and good luck with that, creating economically-viable nuclear fusion is possibly easier) Argentina will struggle. But if you take out Mbappe, Griezman will kill you (ask any England player), and the French are solid in depth and great at defending.

So who, as ‘neutrals’ are we to support on Sunday? We don’t. We just wait for it to finish and then proclaim ‘yeah, I said from the off they were gonna win it…’

Happy Friday

A xxxx