Its not a reference to the travelling cricket fans, currently in South Africa, but a minor reminiscence about the old tv show ‘Dad’s Army’ which graced our screens back in the 70s and has just been given the tribute of a full length movie, released very soon.

Dad’s Army was the nickname given to the ‘Home Guard’ during the war. Those too old or exempt from military service signed up to guard the ‘home’. The benefits were that you got a proper uniform, even a weapon, and a rank and everything. Which helped you tell old ladies to turn off the porch lights during an air raid.

So it was a very easy target for a sit-com. They were an old, bumbling, clumsy group of wannabe soldiers, fantasising about fighting nazis whilst in reality performing the most mundane of tasks.

I fucking hated Dad’s Army. I hate ‘farce’ generally. Slapstick. Its awful. And yet here it was, on our tv screens every fucking week for a decade. Back when it was either watch that or watch ‘the other side’. No checking the reruns on ‘Dave’, no skyplus, not even video. And on ‘the other side’ might be Fanny Cradock’s cookery (think Paul Hollywood in a long skirt), Songs of Praise or Coronation Street. So although Dad’s Army was viewed by a massive 18 million sad and sorry souls every week, I weren’t one of ’em. I’d rather do my homework. Ok, maybe not but I wouldn’t watch it; made me cringe.

But at the time farce and slapstick were big in Britain. Monty Python hadn’t yet arrived to save world comedy from an eternity of custard pies in faces and people going ‘oooops!!!’ as they slid on a banana skin and ended up with their head up fat old Mrs Beagley’s ample skirt!! We didn’t have Louis Van Gaal to laugh at either, back then. We just had Dad’s Army.

So they’ve made it into a remake movie. I saw the trailer last night when we went to see ‘Spotlight’ the multiple oscar nominated film about the exposure of child abuse by Catholic priests by journalists, in the 70s in Boston. Back when such a thing was ‘news’. Not just ‘oh what, agaiaiain???’

Spotlight has been fabulously reviewed. As being fabulous. Oscar-worthy. Probably because its a true story that is still, tragically, relevant. Cover-ups by the highest levels of the Catholic church to horrors being perpetrated by priests.

But its loooooooooonnnnnggggg. Way too long. The story’s fascinating, the cast superb, but it is unnecessarily long. 45 minutes on the cutting room floor would have made it a great film. But they didn’t. They laboured the point. Every fucking point. Until you just think; LET IT JUST END NOW!!!!! I DON’T CARE IF THERE’S NO RESOLUTION; LET ME GO HOME TO MATCH OF THE DAY. ALREADY!

Shame because otherwise we had a super evening with Kung-Fu Graham and Mrs Kung-Fu Graham.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx