Its illegal to beat children in Britain. I know, its a silly law that removes ‘the stick’ and leaves just ‘the carrot’. And you can’t do much damage to anyone with a fucking carrot. We all remember the days when we could just thump the kids because they were small and defenceless and it was a fun thing to do. I still like to beat my kids, even though they’re adults and sometimes hit back.
But the law’s the law and must be obeyed.

Unless…

A judge found this week that a father, in fact a known wife-beater, who hit his son with a belt, should be shown leniency because he’s from India and ‘cultural considerations must be taken into account’. No-one said all judges were bright. But they should apply the law, that’s kind’a their job. As far as I’ve always been aware, ignorance of the law is never a plea. “I didn’t realise what those ’40mph’ signs meant, which is why I was driving at 90”. Yeah, well don’t do it again, now you know.

But its much worse than that. Firstly its discriminatory. Recent immigrants can beat wives/children and anyone they fancy hitting whilst us poor indigenous Brits will incur the full force of the law if we do similar. And secondly, its plain fucking stupid. You cannot allow people to break laws because ‘that’s what they do at home’. Oh, we’re allowed to murder people in Zimbabwe, we do it all the time, didn’t realise you couldn’t do it here. Honour killing would be rife.

Without wishing to sound in any way ‘Farage’ about this; if you live in Britain you are bound by British laws. Full fucking stop. From the moment you jump off the lorry that smuggled you over from Calais.

And that’s why we’re all dead impressed with the Malaysian authorities for titty-earthquake-gate. They handled what could have been a nasty incident brilliantly after the group of students stood naked around a holy site. They punished them, but delicately. 3 days in jail, which they’d already served, a small fine and deportation. Enough to teach a lesson that they’d probably already learned, but not enough to have half the world shouting about human rights abuse.

No-one in Malaysia claimed leniency for those kids on the grounds that ‘they can do it at home’. Because its irrelevant. They were in Malaysia, they adhere to Malaysian laws.

Only in fucking Britain is this not so.

When in Rome, do as the Serbians.

Happy lenient Saturday

A xxxx