I didn’t see the Spurs match yesterday, for the main reason, it wasn’t televised. I could have opted for the ‘Bulgarian stream’ or the ‘Lithuanian hackers’ but instead went out for tea. So I watched the hilights on Match of the Day 2. Which didn’t take long. No idea how Leicester weren’t 4-nil up by the time Harry scored his goal, but they didn’t capitalise on their opportunities. Then we scored 2 more lovely, wonderful, Sonny goals, the second of which was something of a masterpiece, and comfortably saw the match out. Other than the goal we conceded at the end. Which didn’t matter. Other than, it did. They all matter. But I was lifted by the result. As were Spurs. To… 4th place!!!! Above Arsenal. Yippee.

Two-and-a-half hours later we were back in 5th, just below the Arse. Or ‘the return of the doomsday scenario’, as we feel it. So now it becomes all about… The Run In!!! How the last 4 matches turn out as we are 2 points shy of the Goons but with a much better goal difference.

We start next weekend with an easy game. Unfortunately, I don’t mean easy for us. But possibly easy for Liverpool. Who aren’t very good, don’t score many goals and really have nothing left to play for anyway. (Reality alert: you can’t win matches on self-delusion alone, but it can never hurt). Then we play Arsenal. Unless Arteta catches covid again and calls it off until next December. Tosser.

Arsenal have an easy run-in. Other teams’ run-ins are always easy. That way you can laugh more as they drop points. So ‘it’s all to play for’. And I’m feeling nauseous at the thought.

Meanwhile, down the bottom end, things have gotten more interesting. Burnley are ‘on a run’ and must be fancied to stay up just because teams ‘down there’ don’t win three in a row and can’t count ‘games in hand’ as any points. Cos they probably won’t get any. Leeds too are now ‘in the fray’. And both of those teams are just 2 points clear of the drop zone. In which sit Norwich, who’ve already gone, Watford, who sadly virtually have too. And Everton. Who should be relegated just for having Horrible Frankie as manager but actually won yesterday against Frankie’s very own Chelsea. And the likelihood of that result is so minuscule that I’m immediately thinking far-eastern gambling syndicates or a glitch in Frank’s departing terms from his old club allowing him one impossible result when he manages a team.

So its either Burnley, Leeds or Everton to go. My heart is on Everton but I really wish I cared more about any of them one way or the other.

My focus must remain on 4th place. And now with Christian Romero showing everybody precisely what 47 million quid’s worth of centre back looks like, (and he’s sooooo pretty too!!!), we must stay positive. No, we MUST!!!

Happy May Day

A xxxx