Emmanuel Macron’s wife is a man.

There. I’ve said it. Now I wait to hear from his lawyers. Who are rather busy suing other people for making such an assertion. In fact, one person. An American blogger called Candace Owens who has repeatedly made the claim. Not sure why. Not sure what her agenda is, but according to her, Brigitte Macron was born Jean-Michel Trogneux. A… a ‘he’. Of the masculine variety.

Now; I make no judgments. Other than those I make. But this is possibly the most fun since Hugh Edwards read our nightly news. Because we love a scandal. We love when a couple out on an ‘illicit’ date whilst having an ‘affair’, choose to do their private canoodling at a massive concert filled with tv and cctv cameras. We love it when French presidents ride out to visit their mistresses perched on the back of motor scooters.

But this, were it to be in any way true, would be another level of scandal altogether. This would be The Beatles compared to Coldplay. This would be The World Cup final to the Women’s Euros.

There’s a totally fantastic book, called “in one person”, written by a totally fantastic author, John Irving, in which his almost constant theme of ‘the seduction of young boys by older women’ opens up to the seduction of young boys to… to anyone. Older women, older men and, in what might be alluding to autobiographical experience, or just creatively running with a theme, the young protagonist becomes obsessed with a beautiful woman teacher at his (boarding) school, who possesses a penis. Her own. His own. Their own.

And here we are. Macron was 15 when he met Brigitte. Did she have a penis when he met her? And to whom does it really matter? It certainly counts in the ‘NONE OF OUR FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!’, category of things. But they are, quite frankly, some of the best of things. We already know most of our own business. The oddities of others’ business is way more interesting.

So I’ll wait for the photos to emerge. The long-ago witnesses. All the usual ‘say anything for a 10-bob interview with the Sun’ brigade coming out (no pun) of the woodwork to help ascertain the true extent of the French nation’s adopted role as ‘permissive’ and ‘libertine’.

Je regret rien!

Happy Thursday

A xxxx