We won. Spurs. A football match. Beat Southampton. Who were ‘fighting for their lives’. And alas, they died. Got relegated. At least they did it in the best stadium in the world. Surely that was some comfort to them? But Southampton aren’t my problem. Spurs are.

With that magnificent win, our first home win since February, not that our away form has been what you’d call ‘brilliant’, but with the win yesterday we roared up the table from 16th (relegation starts at 18th) to a positively nose-bleeding 16th!!! At this rate, by my calculations, we can be first in the league with 5 wins. Assuming we move up 3 places every time. Which we should. But may have to change the rules of the league a bit. I’ll speak to Liverpool.

Who amazingly lost yesterday. I can’t actually remember the last time that happened and can’t be bothered to look. But they went to Fulham, scored a goal, went all ‘arrogant’ and strutting around with the air of the invincible, and got trounced. Because this is football. You have to act invincible, rather than just posture.

Arsenal, the only other team with an unrealistic chance to prevent the title going to Merseyside, failed to win in the other bit of Merseyside, the blue bit which never wins anything. Arsenal were 1 nil up and if they’d have just made it 2, or 3… but it wasn’t to be and Everton were awarded a penalty. Obviously, it was wrongly awarded, it was against Arsenal which, according to Arteta, automatically makes it not just wrong but part of the overall persecution of Arsenal by the combined match officials of the Premiere League. Because shlepping a man twenty yards across the box with your arms and then falling into his legs should never be a penalty.

So all in all, it was a brilliant weekend’s football. Other than the Manchester derby, or the ‘has-been derby’ as it has now been re-named, which was boring as fuck. As you’d expect from two teams which, unlike Tottenham, have faded from their glory days.

Happy Monday, I shall watch MOTD for the first time in 2 months.

A xxxx