It’s a big day all round really. In America they’re counting the votes and we should have a result some time around… June, possibly August, depending on how long the legal action takes. So that’s very exciting. Wake me up when someone dies. At the time of writing both candidates are claiming victory. Don’t know how that’ll work in practical terms. Amazing really that something as fundamental and basic to the American Way as demo-cracy is such a problem to implement. They’ve had long enough to practice after they threw us out. And all you have to have is the ability to add one more.

Over here its our last day before ‘Lockdown re-dux’ so we’re all out eating in restaurants, drinking in pubs and having weddings (for 6 people… the party, not the actual wedding, that would be illegal, except in Utah), and playing tennis. Because the bastard mother-fucking government just yesterday morning chose to ban tennis during this forthcoming (lack of) action. Tennis. A game so naturally distanced, so remote, so far, far away, that if the opponents come within 5 metres of each other its all gone wrong. But its banned. Along with golf. So you’re allowed to have a long walk, but not dragging a golf bag along with you. Makes sense. Periodic arm-swinging increases the spread of coronavirus by… by… by at least 7.

But you can no longer meet people. Not of your choice. Only your family. And ‘support bubble’ type stuff (that’ll be Lila and Joey then). Though you can, outdoors only and not for too long, meet ‘one other person’. But who is he? Or she? What are his/her pronouns? Is it the same person that everyone has to meet? Or do we get to choose our own? You can only meet up with one other person. His name is Kevin McMahon and he lives at 47 The Grove, Salisbury, Wilts. Do we have to make an appointment then? Before he books up totally for the month? Come on, Kev, just gimme 10 minutes on the Heath, otherwise I have no-one!!! (But my bloody family!!)

And I’m just not sure how effective this new lockdown will be. It’ll be very effective at ruining at least half of all pubs, bars and restaurants. It’ll be the kiss of death for most of the events and tourism-related industries, and it will murder retail in the Christmas run-up. But will people treat it with the same reverence we did the first time in March? Hmmmm…

Happy Last Day of the Universe

A xxxx