So what happened yesterday was that two men left their offices for good. Stepped down from public life. One was Prince Andrew, the disgraced royal befriender of paedophiles, the other was Mauricio Pochettino, the former manager and Demi-god of Tottenham Hotspur football club. And I think the replacement went to the wrong place.

Rather than coming to Spurs, I feel Jose Morinho would be a much better fit at Buckingham Palace. He’s pompous, arrogant and never admits his mistakes. He thinks himself ‘special’ and acts as if he owns the place. The royals actually do ‘own the place’, so I think that Jose should be transferred immediately to the Royal Family as Prince Andrew’s replacement and Spurs can look elsewhere for a manager.

Who might be less… ‘pragmatic’ in style. Ok, pragmatism apparently wins trophies but there’s more to life than trophies. I fear that Jose may take my team of highly skilled and artful individuals and turn them in a collective bus-parking operation.

Whereas Prince Andrew’s interview with Emily Maitlis went so well he’s actually considering another. If you can believe. To ‘clear the air’ that was so heavily polluted by his last interview. The absolute low point of which, in my eyes, was when he described Jeffrey Epstein’s behaviour as ‘unbecoming’. As Emily was quick to point out; ‘he’s a sex offender!!’. A paedophile. A child abuser. ‘Unbecoming’ is when you wear the wrong colour tie. Unbecoming is when you fall over at a ball after too much champers. Not when you abuse children then pass them round to your sick and evil mates to do likewise. That’s so far south of ‘unbecoming’ as to be positively Antarctic.

Fortunately for both Jose and Andrew, there’ll be lots of money around for whatever they choose to do. The political parties are falling over themselves to offer ‘bribes’ to the electorate in terms of tax breaks, hand-outs, benefits, housing, health service improvements, better trains, roads, sewers, more police, shit-loads of teachers, old-age care, free nursery places, everything… which can never be implemented if they stay in government for 90 years.

I know its what electioneering is all about, promises made to be broken. But its kind of wrong. It could almost be read as ‘lying’. But I’d never use such a term. Instead they use an euphemism for telling outrageous untruths. It’s the word ‘manifesto’. Which translates from the original Aromaic as: talking such bullshit as flying pigs.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx