So a geezer called, modestly, ‘Peter the Great’, built himself a city. As ya do. If you’re a Tsar and own, quite literally, the entire fucking world. Bit like Putin today, but with less hypocrisy. Because Peter wasn’t a ‘communist’, wasn’t a ‘man of the people’, he was a god. From each, according to their ability, to… Me. That was his version of the famous Marxist mantra. So Peter built St Petersburg. And he built it proper.

It is simply the most beautiful city you’ve ever been in. Even if you haven’t been in it, that’s what it is. Everything is simply fucking massive. Every building a palace, every church a cathedral, every every bigger than anyone else’s. The roads are immense avenues, the parks are gorgeous, the canals and rivers wonderful and it smells a whole lot better than Venice. And the food is wonderful here too. They’ve moved on from ‘cabbage’ to all manner of wonders and the cafes and coffee shops are fantastic. Everything here is low-level. They still only build up to 4 stories high and only in the same basic style. Which I’ll call… St Petersburg style because I lack imagination and knowledge. Only the building known as ‘The Big House’ locally, or officially as the KGB local office is a bit higher. Take a really brave planning department jobsworth to argue that with them.

So in between Peter the Great and Starbucks a lot happened, which I’ve missed out. So I’ll fill you in quickly. There were 27, possibly 12, maybe 15 Tsars and Tsarinas (no glass ceiling in pre-revolutionary Russia; women could be Tsar and everyone else was exploited mercilessly but equally, men and women. The rest of the world took 300 years to catch up) From Peter to the last one, Nicholas the 2nd. Nicholas was the one who lost his job to the revolution in 1917 when Animal Farm happened. There were at least 1 other Nicholas, an Elizabeth, no Harrys but Alexanders and Anastasias and lots of Tsars. They all murdered predecessors, killed their grandparents, had children put to death, the usual aristocratic shit in pre-industrial Europe. Not very nice, but people generally don’t act very nicely when all the wealth beyond 15 imaginations is at stake.

Today its lovely. Yet is filled with Russians. Who are generally viewed as being rather cold, hard, arrogant, aggressive, nasty people. And on my second day I can honestly say that they’ve done nothing to even try to dispel that stereotype. Which actually makes it more fun. Can you make a Russian smile? I’m trying. Even when they do smile its a ‘lips-only’ kind of deal. The rest is still frowning. And that’s on glorious sunny days. As we approach ‘white nights’ and doesn’t get dark till 10.30 or 11. Can you imagine the misery in winter??

Happy Sunday. Meg & Harry are still married.

A xxxx