The people of Manchester are accustomed to seeing women lying on the floor. Its normally a Friday night about 11.30 and the pavements are littered with little frilly skirts, high heels and orange faces, laughing, screaming, puking. But this was different. This poor soul was blown over by a wind so strong that they actually cancelled two football matches last night. And that never happens. Sadly, much as we prayed that the Etihad might actually blow away, that never happened.

What did actually happen was that the league was decided last night. The ‘new order’. The way forward. The rest of the season. Which has now become wonderfully obvious, totally transparent and blindingly errr… errrr… well blindingly something.
Those previously known as ‘the top teams’, and I say ‘previously’ even though they’re still actually at the top… for the moment, are all in melt-down. Arsenal have taken one point from their last possible 6, Chelsea have gone to shreds and the goal machine that was Manchester City have failed to score in two games and totally wimped out of last night’s match because the weather wasn’t nice enough. You need to be paid way more than a mere £250,000 a week to out in the rain, I’m afraid.

Manchester United are looking for someone to talk of ‘the big 9’ so they can be included in something worthwhile.
So the ‘big three’ are on the downward slide, no doubt about it. The only teams really doing what they should be doing currently are West Ham, Liverpool and Spurs.

West Ham went from relegation hopefully (well, I was hoping) to European contenders in two weeks. I wish I could feel happy for them. The Premiership’s ‘artful dodgers’. Though the Artful Dodger had charm, style and charisma, all of which are patently lacking at the Boleyn, and haven’t been seen there since Billy Bonds hung his boots up in 1836. And so they have become less Ray Winstone (cockney charm and lovely) and more Bob Crow (dangerous, ugly and gangsterish).

Liverpool are on fire. If only. Sadly that’s only in the metaphorical sense. Hammered Arsenal, did enough to beat Fulham in last night’s tricky little fixture and cast aside all who come before them. Very high scoring, very consistent, bit dodgy in defense at times but score loads and loads. Destined for greatness.

And then Spurs. The mighty Spurs.

At long last not just a victory but a WIN, a proper, 4-0 demolition of lesser opposition. Albeit not very good opposition on last night’s showing. We were wonderful, we were awesome, we were magnificent. I’ve seen the future and its called Nabil Bentaleb. The French (yes, French, but still good. Go figure, eh?) teenager was outstanding as we blew Newcastle away. The whole team looked fab but there again, the whole of Newcastle didn’t. Which always makes it easier.

Should the season come down to goal difference, we have no chance. But if can continue to play as we did at St James’, I predict a top 2 finish. Some might say ‘a big “if”.

And so the league will finish thus come May:

Tottenham
Liverpool
Everton
Southampton
——————————————————
West Brom

lots of teams that no-one cares about, whose supporters
are worthless and inbred and they just shuffle
around the middle of the table forever and ever

West Ham
——————————————————
Arsenal
Man City
Chelsea

Sweet dreams are made of this.

Happy thursday

A xxxx