This is a bokken. Its a wooden sword. Like you had when you were 7 to go play with your brother and with which to beat the shit out of your little sister just because you could.

Except my one comes from Japan, not Hamleys. Made by virgins, from wood that has been hardened by… by things that make wood hard, using only the finest oakish, ebonyesque, woody stuff and seasoned, tempered, carved by fair-skinned maidens and finished by Yoshi Yamamoto, the Kill Bill of the world of wood. Then they are sailed over on ancient Sampans so as not to trouble the fragile nature of bokken, or upset either its feng or its shui. And it gets sung to every night. To help it sleep.

The purpose of a bokken is to practice sword-stuff, without making everyone, including and perhaps especially, yourself bleed. Swords are very sharp; bokkens aren’t. But they are heavy. Well, my one is. You wouldn’t want to get it upside your head. Neither would I. Though I could cope because of my training. Not in tai chi but from the decades of being a total klutz. I’m a natural and lifelong headbanger.

And because of their weight, bokkens are also great for general fitness training. So as you swing the fucker around cutting off imaginary heads, its great exercise. In a dislocated shouldery kind of way.

And this is just one small part what we do at Tai Chi. One very small, but quite hefty, part.

Tai Chi has changed my life. Not just because its given me something to do on Thursday nights and first thing Saturday morning when I might otherwise be reading newspapers in bed with a nice cup of tea and a warm wife. But because Tai Chi is all about balance and energy. The balance of your body and the energy it employs.

So we perform the ‘forms’, that odd Chinese ‘dance’ because it teaches you how to distribute your weight in any given situation, so as to always be solid in the ground and ready to inflict pain and damage on possible assailants should they attack you in Waitrose one sunny afternoon. And then we apply those forms to self-defense. Like when someone attacks you with a bokken at Nobu. Or tries to stab you when you’re at the Ballet.

We do boxing, aikido, karate. We warm up, stretch out and downward dog until our eyes bleed. We sit and meditate. We attack each other in a hundred different ways. And its fun. Great fun. And part of Tai Chi philosophy is to teach, to help others. So no-one ever wants to show you how good they are, how tough, how solid. Not even the really good, tough, solid guys (and gels; yes, its truly equal opportunity), who are named in Chinese: ‘bastards’.

Everyone should do Tai Chi; you’ll live longer. Or die younger if you don’t learn to block a bokken.

If you fancy, check out this website, and come along, see if its for you. All you need is a white t-shirt. Though a sense of humour might help.

http://www.londontaichiclasses.com/

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx