The one good thing about Trump being US president is that he’ll ban ‘woke’ from the entire nation. Once more Americans can call a spade a spade. Or whatever else they wish to call him. Or her. See, I’m so programmed never to presume your pronouns that I have to qualify every sentence within a proper, diversity-motivated, equality-inspired care and consideration model of sensitivity. Cos you never know when some rabid poof is gonna read it. Or one of those gels with a nob. So I’m careful. Don’t want to offend anybody. And offence is what it’s all about.

Allison Pearson is a writer and journalist. She had a visit from the local police. About a tweet she’d posted. A year ago. Although it had been deleted soon after posting. And it had been reported. By someone who was ‘hurt’ by it. So it’s a ‘non-criminal hate incident’. Oh. Which tweet was it? We can’t tell you that. Who ‘reported’ it? We can’t tell you that either.

Oh well, that all sounds perfectly reasonable. If you live in Iran or Russia. Where thoughts and speech are controlled by the state. Or if you live somewhere that has so many policeMEN sitting around looking for shit to do because there’s no crime, no terrorism, no stabbings, no gang crime, that they deem a ‘non-criminal hate incident’ as a proper use of their time. Because one person was ‘offended’ by something she wrote.

I’m offended every time Arsenal win. Is that a ‘non-criminal hate incident’??? Ridiculously, a second police force became involved in the Allison Pearson tweet, so that’s more ‘bobbies’ reading twitter streams whilst 12 year old kids are getting knifed just round the corner, and completing the endless paperwork which is demanded of our boys (and gels) in blue, eating up their working hours.

The upshot of woke-ism is not that it is the most stupid, destructive, divisive ruination of free speech, but that it’s all contingent on one person being ‘hurt’ by a comment. Well that person should just ‘grow a pair’. Of anything they please, I don’t give a shit, just add two of them and man-up. Woman-up. Person-up. Thing-up. Whatever. Because we all hear things we don’t like. Ok, if it’s racist or blatantly sexist, then judgments have to be made. But that makes more presumptions on the ‘wokes’, and we know how perilous that can be. It presumes they’re normal, that they may have a sense of humour (most unlikely) or that they’re worth consideration (even less likely).

Which is why I shall continue to ensure my content is as politically correct as a pole dancer having sex with three men dressed as nuns.

I’ve got the kettle on for when the police arrive.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx