I’m bored with tax now. Not that it was ever suggested that the world of taxation was in any way interesting, exciting or spectacular. But really. Iss enough already. David Cameron’s tax return, George Osborne’s, Boris’s, Jeremy Fucking Corbyn’s.

Surely what would be more interesting is what is NOT on the tax returns. The dodgy deals, the bags full of cash, the drug money, back-handers, bungs, sweeteners, the love nests, 20-pound notes slid into the panties of a pole-dancer. Doubt they’ll ever make the ‘transparency’ obsession currently filling the first 9 pages of every newspaper.

So just to put an end (as if) to the whole sorry mess: I don’t know anyone who pays more tax than they have to. If I did find that person I would laugh at their total stupidity. To take advantage of ‘thresholds’ and ‘allowances’ is NOT tax evasion. Nor is it immoral. If the tax people can’t make tax simple enough to be full-proof, accountants will always use those allowances and loopholes to maximum effect. The richer you are, the more creative those accountants can be. You don’t like it, then get rid of ‘offshore’. Burn the Caymans, topple Jersey into the sea, invade Panama. See if I care.

What is much more interesting is football. They should move that to the front of the papers and put politician’s tax bollocks to the back.

Ronald Koeman, the rather brilliant manager of Southampton, includes in their training sessions ‘communication skills’. Which is really due to a malfunction of society itself rather than something specific to to the beautiful game.

Players don’t have conversations. They arrive in their Lamborginis with their earphones plugged in and stare at smartphones or games consoles in every spare moment. They would tweet but most professional footballers don’t know 14 different words, so it would be a bit repetitive.

Koeman realised that if the players don’t speak to each other then they’ll have difficulties on the field, where communication is vital for the flow of the game. Its easier to shout ‘MAN ON!!!!’ when a Robert Huth is about to scythe both your legs from under you, than it is to send a text. Or a snapchat picture of the immense German with evil intent in his eyes.

Social media is fine. But it ain’t ‘social’ in any meaningful way. Its a solitary pursuit. And an obsession for not just footballers but for everyone walking down the Strand in the evenings, sitting in restaurants and driving their fucking cars.

So good ole Ronald.

Its good to talk. Then it might be a little less embarrassing when our ‘stars’ get interviewed after the games.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx