I love Americans. Not all of them, obviously, certainly not much to love in Donald Trump, nor Hilary Clinton, but as a group, run-a-the-mill Americans; they’re special. And never more special than in the separation of an iconic partnership. When questioned by tv about the break up of the most fabulous couple/marriage/grouping in the entire American history, these members of the American public cried out in their sorrow that golden couple Brad and Angelina were to split. They couldn’t understand it. Why it should happen. “But they had it all!!!” they cried, almost in one voice; a kind of mid-Kentucky waitress voice. “They had the fame, they had money, they were beautiful… how could this happen???” As if the very conscious uncoupling of this pairing was a direct insult to their very own mid-Kentucky lives. As if giving the appearance of ‘having it all’ should in itself be sufficient. How can you be our aspirational couple if you ain’t a couple?

Its also a tragic reflection of the premium we place on superficiality. They look gorgeous, we know they’re stinking rich, ergo: they are perfect in every way.

Except underneath all that gorgeousness, all that money, all that perfection, they’re just people. And like all people, they fuck up. In fact probably more than ordinary people do just because they’re in a position to afford any consequences of their fuck-ups, and we ain’t.

Brad and Ange met filming ‘Mr & Mrs Smith’, which, even though its probably the most stupid and flawed movie ever made, I really like. And if you play ‘in love’ and you’re a ‘method actor’, then YOU ARE IN LOVE. That’s the only way to do it. So they married, after a couple of sloppy divorces to enable it to happen, and all’s well, until you have to play ‘in love’ in another movie. And that’s always gonna pose problems. Brad played ‘in love’ with Marion Cottillard, ‘allegedly’ and put on a performance a touch too realistic. Then there’s the inevitable Hollywood allegations of drink/drugs/abuse/insanity, just to lay foundations for the settlement. The Depp Clause, they call it. Ok, I call it.

What a shame! (get a fucking life!!!)

Or, get a step-counting fitness aiding tosser-watch-thingy. Because once you start counting steps, your life will change! But not necessarily in the desired direction. A study, yes, ok, once more in America, showed that people wearing step-counters lost about 40% less weight than those who didn’t, all other things (diet, excercise, blah, blah) being equal. Which is beyond ‘odd’. It fucking odd. Are they eating the step-counters? But apparently step counters are obsessive (you only need to know one and you’ll be ‘uh-huh’-ing away) and may use the vast step count to justify ‘treats’ for ‘being so good’.

Not important, just a bit funny, that’s all. Throw away your step-counter right now.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx