I must admit that I’d never heard of the ‘Exclusive Brethren’ before. They’re a Christian sect who hang out in Plymouth. An offshoot of the original Plymouth Brethren from whom they separated in 1840. Oh, them. ????

They’re a strange bunch, them Brethren. But most sects do seem strange to outsiders, that’s why we call them ‘sects’ instead of ‘people’. Because sects have rules. Loads’a rules. And the Exclusive Brethren don’t generally mix with others. They try and avoid people in general. And you can’t blame them for that.

They’re a bit extreme on the Christian front, but they would be. That’s their bond. Their link. Their common ground and raison d’etre. Being a Leyton Orient fan is just a thing to do, belonging to a sect is different. Its all encompassing. It becomes your life. And that of your family. Who are completely ruled by that sect. And who can be cut off, or ‘shut up’ or ‘withdrawn from’ in cases of bad behaviour or rule breaking. Although there are exceptions. Like the ‘brother’ who is still fine and active and neither shut up nor withdrawn from despite 2 convictions for sexual assault on a 4 year old child. No, that’s fine. Won’t affect the Second Coming, or the Apocalypse in any significant way.

So they educate their kids in special schools, the books in which have the pages on evolution and sexual reproduction ripped out, and any other shit they don’t like. They don’t have tvs nor use Google (Satan’s home page, obviously). The kids are segregated in school but generally perform well academically.

All the inevitable secty weirdness we can forgive. Almost. But the Brethren get tax breaks. Big ones. Last year it amounted to £13 million. That’s a lot of prayers. Most of them answered, some would say. Yet they have an annual income of £70 million. A sect of just 17,000 members. But they’re building up their cash reserves. No shit. For ‘The Rapture’.

Oh, for The Rapture. This is when The Brethren will leave the Earth. Ok. In 2022. Hmmmmm. I don’t know where they’re going but they’re gonna be pretty rich when they get there. Maybe Las Vegas is worth considering.

They don’t pay their schools ‘fees’. Instead they make ‘voluntary contributions’ to the schools. Thus making them subject to tax relief which fees aren’t. And this wealth flows all the way from Plymouth to the Grand Pooh-Baah, who lives in Sydney. They don’t call him the ‘CEO’, or the ‘Boss’, they call him ‘God’s messenger on Earth’. And they give him a private jet and loads of great stuff to facilitate his Godliness. Its a far cry from a pair of sandals and a crown of thorns to a Jetstream but life moves on, even for Christian extremists.

I think the government should leave them jolly well alone. So they can pray. And amass vast billions, subsidised by us hard-working tax payers.

Amen

A xxxx