Having so flippantly mentioned the other day about ‘going to Mars’, it would appear, as usual, that everyone is now jumping on my bandwagon. Mars is the place to be. It does in fact seem that Jezero Crater is the ‘new San Tropez’. It is New York for the next millennium. Everyone’s going there. And yesterday, ‘we’ landed. In fact, not merely ‘landed’ but fucking nailed it!! The most difficult landing in Martian landing history (all 3) and it went like a dream. The probability of that happening by chance is as remote as that of Mel parallel parking first time outside Brent Cross. Though to be fair, you don’t have to re-enter the atmosphere in Hendon. Nor travel 100 million miles to get there (though some of us wish you did, then you’d never have to go).
This photo is rather funny. For those of you unfamiliar with the work of the Chabad organisation, they are the Jewish equivalent of the St John’s Ambulance (spritual branch only) and McDonalds. Chabad is a charity which arranges kosher stuff for those traveling to far away places. So you don’t need it in Golders Green. Even though they are there. But should you go to, f’rinstance, Patagonia or the Meekong Delta or even Edinburgh, and you’re there, in the middle of the wilderness, starving hungry BUT not prepared to forsake the laws of kashrut, then ‘Chabad will provide’. If they ain’t there, they’ll send it there. For those of us prepared, in times of crisis (that’ll be mealtimes) to forsake such requirements, we never need Chabad. But for those who care about such things? Its brilliant. Anywhere you go in the world, you’re never more than 3 minutes from a man with a black hat holding a pre-wrapped, Beth Din certified meal. Hence; Mars.
So NASA arrived yesterday, Elon Musk craves settling there and the Emirates space craft is just weeks away from the Red Planet too. Where they already have plans for a 3,000 room, 97-storey, 7-star hotel. With a submarine to take you to the underwater restaurant. For when they fill the crater back to its former glory. Even though there’s no actual ‘water’, as such, on Mars. Just lots of places where water used to be, millions of years ago. But those Emiratis don’t agonise over mere details. They’ve ordered 47 trillion bottles of Evian. Initially.
Spurs play in Europe; massive win; Bale unplayably wonderful; Fabulous result.
I’m livin’ in 2012!! I was happy in 2012. So that’s all brilliant. And we won 4-1 at Wolfsberger. Well, not, like, actually ‘there’ because Austria has been officially closed due to covid so they played in Hungary. But still, those 4 still count as ‘away goals’ which, in Europe, as we know, are actually 8 goals. That’s impressive. I couldn’t be happier if Arsenal got relegated.
Happy Friday
A xxxx
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