Whilst we were positively glued to yesterday’s ‘budget statement’ by the Chancellor of the Exchequer himself!, Jeremy… whassissname, over in Holland they were busy voting for a new Prime Minister. Yes, it was election time in the land of the free, the tolerant, the nice, liberal and obviously a bit stoned. And the winner was… (pause for effect, like on Bake-off)..
Geert Wilders!!! The most intolerant, not-nice, un-liberal and possibly not even stoned man they could find in the whole of Holland. He is horrible. He is the bastard love-child of Nigel Farage, Tommy Robinson and Marine le Pen. He hates dark-skinned people generally and muslims in particular. He wants no immigration, sealed borders and the banning of the Koran. Which, whatever you think of the Koran, is a bit much. You either ‘ban all religious books’ or none, you don’t just pick your least-loved minority. Burning books is something he should consider too. Always a positive move for any liberal democracy. Anyway, good luck to the Dutch. (They’re gonna fucking need it.)

Because we have bigger fish to fry. If we can still afford to do so after the ‘most tax friendly budget in the history of glossing over the small print and robbing people blind’. Fish may become a once-a-year treat. One sardine at Christmas for a family of 9 to share. Awwwwww.

Hunt gave us some ‘huge benefits’. A whopping 2% off national insurance!!! That makes the average wage better by 350 quid a year!!! My pension (yes, I get a fucking pension!!!, what of it???) is going to rise by £21 per week! That’s huge! It’ll pay the dry-cleaning bill for my butler. Put a quarter of a tank of gas in the Bentley. Almost cover the entire cost of my morning coffees!!! (croissants not included). But seriously (ish), I mean, ‘tax breaks’? WTF??? We pay more tax than those any other nation. And due to clever and nasty little ‘things’, like freezing the tax threshold, the level at which we start to pay income tax, we effectively get a tax rise every year. The paltry benefits offered yesterday, as if we were each being presented with our own palace, go nowhere to even offset the immense burden we’re already saddled with. He did a good thing for business, has to be said, which should be good for ‘growth’, but for those of us earnin’ wagiz, with ‘raging’ inflation and increasing fuel costs, we’re not going to be feeling ‘rich’ any time soon. Thanks, Jeremy, thanks a lot. Maybe I’ll move to Holland…

Happy Thursday

A xxxx