Now here’s ten things that you (probably) didn’t know about Buenos Aires. Unless you’ve been here in which case you forgot them as soon as the plane took off, because that’s the nature of things holidayish. They seem really important whilst happening, then your brain decides that the extra pint of milk required on the way home from the station is more important than the number of steps in the grand palace at ********* (pick palace of choice, unless you’ve forgotten the name as well).

1. Buenos Aires is big. Fucking massive. And incredibly gorgeous. Well, the bits we’ve seen. There are shitty bits but you just call a cab and for 2 quid it whisks you either to hospital (terrible drivers the cabbies) or to a really nice, green, tree-lined safe bit. They have here the widest avenue in the world!!!! Like anyone gives a shit. 142 metres wide. About 14 lanes of traffic. And so big it doesn’t even look like an avenue; it looks like a mess. And surprisingly its called Avenida de 9 Julio. Our favourite date. Other than May 25th.

2. BA people are called Portelinos. Literally means ‘swarthy footballing cheats’. Ok, it means ‘people of the port’. Because apparently there’s a port here. Haven’t been there.

3. The ethnic make-up of Buenos Aires is 44% Italian and 40% Spanish. And that’s a bit of a shocker in South America where you kind’a think everyone’s Spanish or Indiginous or some pleasant mix of the two. But no. The Italians came here in… er… well let’s say in 1857 (like you’d know any different) and brought with them their national characteristics. Bottom-pinching, cowardice, very defensive football and pizza. Every restaurant has pasta, (Italian) and steak (Argentinian) and nothing Spanish.

4. At the end of the 19th century Argentina was the richest country in the world. And BA was the richest place in Argentina. So it demolished all the gorgeous old Spanish colonial buildings, which are present in all their magnificent glory in every other South American city, and replaced them with, basically, replicas. At the start of the 20th century. So the buildings which look like 18th century colonial aren’t. And in deciding to become ‘the Paris of S. America’ the super-rich built palaces all over this city. Then, inevitably, poverty struck, recession came, depressions, military coups, whatever, and there’s hundreds of empty palaces around, if you want one cheap.

5. When rich people die they want to spend forever (rotting) in something palatial too. Why let your standard of living drop just because you’re dead? So they have, just 2 blocks from our hotel, the wonderful Recoleta Cemetery. Its a must see on every book about BA, and I love a good cemetery anyway. AND… Evita is buried there. So its a national shrine anyway. Andrew Lloyd Webber will probably be buried next door. The family crypts are massive, granite monuments, more like churches than graves, with magnificent statues, loads of crosses, Jesuses, alters, ante-rooms and, of course, the ‘whole family’ living (???) in the basements in their little wooden boxes. Brilliant place.

Ok, I lied about the ’10 things’.

Happy thursday

A xxxx