What d’ya fancy for dinner? Steak? Chicken? Lasagna? Ants?

You can eat what you want really. I couldn’t personally give a damn. Its all a matter of taste. However revolting that may be to others. Walking in Honk Kong a few years back there was a shop that reminded me of the insect house at London Zoo. But it was a food shop. Cos that’s what Hong Kongers like to eat. Fishing bait. Shit that we’d normally scrape off the windscreen after a long drive. Stuff that crawls and has a zillion legs, or no legs at all.

And apparently ‘we’ (ie, civilised Europeans) want to eat that shit now too. Even though most of its not kosher. Though for some amazing reason, locusts are kosher. Despite having no cloven hoof that I’ve ever noticed, nor a spine, nor any discernible scales. And if they ‘chew the cud’ they do it in a very small way. But there ya go.

So people want to eat maggots. Just like they do on the telly. The difference being that on the telly its done to demonstrate revulsion, horror and is almost a punishment. Restaurants are actually popping up extolling the virtues of mealworms and scorpions and tarantulas. Ok, they may be low in fat, I’m sure, but they’re much lower in desirability and anything remotely nice.

So Brussels, that great, sprawling horror that decides every facet of our lives, has decided to regulate insects like they regulate everything else. And ban their sale. So you’ll probably still be able to eat Giant Leaf Cutter Ants, but only if they look like cows. And the plea of ‘but it tastes like chicken’ is no longer mitigation once ‘Europe’ and its Food Standards Agency has had its wicked way.

There’s not enough money in the world to make me eat a scorpion. But if people are sufficiently hip, groovy, out-there, open-to-all, receptive and above all, fucking stupid, they should be able to eat what the hell they want.

The cricket is going splendidly at Edgbaston. How amazing that this series is so wonderfully unpredictable. With yesterday’s hero becoming today’s tosser.

And West Ham are struggling in their Europa League qualifiers. Which they gained entry to by virtue of their ‘fair play’ record. How ironic that they’ve had three men sent off in their first 3 games. Or ‘how funny’ perhaps. If you’re that way inclined. Now the world waits to see if they can turn over Astra Giurgiu in the second leg. How exciting is that?

Happy friday

A xxxx