The last of the famous Mitford Sisters was buried yesterday. Deborah. Who turned Chatsworth House into the first proper, tourist-friendly stately home where peasants, plebs and other assorted poor people could wander round and see a dining room the size of their own village, kitchens like those out of the Bake Off, even though tv wasn’t invented back then, and all manner of stuff that the aristocracy of our fine land could display just to show these sad and sorry underlings how sad, impoverished and worthless their own pathetic little lives really were. And still are. We are blessed with a monarchy and thousands of titled, ennobled folks whose shit really stinketh not.

But Deborah was ok compared to most of her siblings. There were 5 sisters, now tragically all taken from us. One sister was a communist, which may strike some as rather odd, considering her upbringing as a ‘minor aristocrat’. The definition of which is that they only had up to 14 permanent servants and slaves plus a gardener who came to mow the lawn every third tuesday. Shame. But Deborah was apolitical. In fact she was generally regarded as ‘the clueless one’ by those who knew her. The other sisters were more outspoken, one (let’s call her ‘Nancy’ because there’s so many I forget who was who, and care even less) was an author. All married ‘well’. If you call remaining in the inbred world of upper-class-adulterous-twittiness ‘well’.

Then there was Diana. Who was obsessed with Nazis in general and Adolph Hitler in very particular. She married ‘well’. She married Oswald Moseley, head of the British nazis and between them they beget Max Moseley, former CEO of Formula 1 racing. Until he was caught being a very naughty boy with 5 ladies of not very aristocratic origin who were dressed in Nazi regalia whilst Max did whatever odd people do in such a situation. Get slapped with fish? Indulge in a few hands of bridge (though you only need 4 in total for that; unless he needed a referee and linesman)? But I’m gonna suggest that bodily fluids were bound to be involved with so much payment at stake. And quite what Freud would make of such antics I hate to imagine.

So anyway, poor Deborah. Last of the Mitfords. Gone but for the memories and a few doilies left lying round Chatsworth that the oiks haven’t nicked.

An assistant to home secretary, Teresa May, is in deep doo-doo for uttering, according the newspapers, that ‘Nick Clegg is a w****r’. How awful. To have to resort to asterisks. Nick Clegg is a WANKER, its a proven fact. Even he wouldn’t argue with that.

Happy very late Friday.

Fast well

A xxxxx