Just the six of us.

Bill Withers said it first. But the numbers have been increased in line with inflation and then reduced in line with the pandemic. And then, and only then, can they be ignored once more.

Here’s the rule. Set by Boris. And Boris alone. No longer any kind of parliamentary democracy, unimpressed with the Belarus model of dictatorship, as being a bit ‘namby-pamby and limp’, Boris is now God. He and He alone will decide what happens, Nick Hancock will agree with him, as if he actually knows something, which is seriously in doubt, and then it is ‘passed’ into law. No due process. No debate. It’s called the law of the Headless Dictator. A perfect cross between a tyrannical dictator and a headless chicken. It works in North Korea, but possibly only because the head in question sports a stupid haircut. There again, Boris… haircut…

And thus the number shalst be six!! Not seven, nor even five. But six!! Is the number of peopleage wot can meet in any one place at one time. As long as said meeting adheres to proper social distancing criteria. Otherwise the Corona police will swoop in and pour a bucket of water over your barbecue! Families of greater than six (see above) will have to cast the weak ones asunder. Or eat them. Inside or outside, six is the number and THAT NUMBER IS SIX. One third of the devil’s sign.

The ONLY exceptions are for ‘organised sporting events’ and ‘religion stuff’. Possibly the sales at Debenhams. Otherwise YOU WILL BE FINED!!!! OR IMPRISONED!!! (They didn’t say how prisons might meet the criteria, unless they are going to reduce the locked-up populations to just 6 in each and free the rest). So my tai chi, f’rinstance, which is up to 12 warriors, in the park, performing our art, does that count as ‘organised sport’ or will we be arrested for being unsixish? Sixual Harassment?

The Jewish New Year is almost upon us. Just one week away. The time when even those more lapsed than me (if such a thing is possible outside of a salt-beef bar) go for their yearly pilgrimage to the synagogue. And this year I decided to sacrifice my seat, at great personal upset, so that someone more worthy might be able to pray in an area sufficient to meet the new criteria. However, there are two places I avoid like the plague, in times of, well, plague. One is hospitals, they’ll kill ya deader than dead in no time. And synagogues. Where our localised ‘outbreak’ of Covid began all those months ago. I wasn’t there that day. Nor any other day since last New Year, if I’m honest, but people who pray are in danger. All that chest beating and frenzy and shouting. Way too much spittle involved for my taste.

So I shall probably spend the new year in deep meditation and reflection. On the tennis court. And blame Covid. Like everyone else does.

Happy Last 2 days of 7, day

A xxxx