Arrived home yesterday morning at about 9. Managed to stay awake all day, then crashed about 10. Bed. Turned on my Kindle, nah, not tonight, turned off my Kindle and disappeared from the world of the conscious. Woke up at 2, Mel was already awake, slept til 4. Mel still awake, but really, that wasn’t my problem, selfless, caring, loving husband that I undoubtedly am, I did what any man would do. I pissed like an elephant and went back to sleep. Woke at 6.30. Felt good. A very unusual feeling for me at that time. Jet lag is not all negative.

India is 5.5 hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time. Five and a half. What’s that all about? Nowhere has ‘half’ hours. But India does. Because its big and would span two time zones. With the West side being 5 hours ahead and the East being 6. But they couldn’t handle that. Because somewhere in the deepest Gudjerat, just past the donkey as you cross the road for the chai-wallah, you’d gain/lose an hour. And you probably don’t even own a watch, nor a tv, so wouldn’t have a fucking clue what the time was. Other than ‘tea-time’. But its always tea-time in India, its worse than England. So to simplify, all of India is 5.5 hours ahead. Simple.

So at 6.30 today my body was ready for lunch. Though its always ready for lunch at any time, day or night. But instead, I went to Tai Chi. And on the way, via my radio, I learned that Paul Whassisname, the Scouse moron wot now leads UKIP, thinks its a disgrace that Nigel Farage, ex-leader of UKIP (and probably future leader too once everyone else realises what a waste of space new-guy is) should have been knighted in the new year’s honours list. Which I think is a good idea. To put Farage in the ranks of Jimmy Savile, Rolph Harris, Phillip Greene and a host of other diabolical dignitaries. Its almost a rank-of-shame. Which is why they gave one to Andy Murray.

Knighthoods simply perpetuate the ridiculous class system that probably does more to harm the progress in our otherwise fine land than all other acts of stupidity. They’re an anachronism. The only exception really should be judges. I don’t know why, its just what I think. To bestow a useless title on a has-been bongo-player from a boy-band which shone for all of 6 months, in 2003. Or a former footballer who then gets convicted of rape and ends up in jail for tax evasion. I don’t mind Bobby Charlton being knighted either because I love him. But really, unless they want to give me one, for services to… errr… to something, let them go. No value.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx