There’s a law. Its… talmudic… errr… it came down Mount Sanai with Moses… it was written in the stars. It says that all jews must be buried within sight of the M25. Sorry, dead ones, obviously. If you do otherwise you will be arrested. So you can bury in Bushey, Waltham Cross, Cheshunt, even Rainham – Read More-
There were a couple of bye-elections the other night. Somewhere near Milton Keynes and… somewhere else, so far outside London as to be of no significance whatsoever. Ok, ‘significant’ in that it effects the constitution of our government, to a very small degree, but its a bye-election. “They mean nothing”. “Just protest votes”. All of – Read More-
Britain WAS in recession!!!! Not now, though we won’t know until about 6 months time, definitively, whether we should now be lining our split shoes with newspaper and eating mud and acting really poor and drinking Prosecco instead of champagne, and just putting 50 quid of 4 star in the Bentley, or whether we’re ok – Read More-
You know that horrible feeling when you can’t find something. Your car keys. Phone. The credit card that you’re SURE you put back in the wallet. And that causes great discomfort, anxiety. The world can’t sit square on its axis until you’ve found that banana which you KNOW you put in your gym bag and – Read More-
Sunday night (here) was the Super Bowl (over there). So I obviously needed to keep my brother aware of events of such magnitude. Not just because he hates all football equally; American, English, Women’s, Gaelic, even German!!, but because it’s a story about Taylor Swift. But yet again; he’s no fan of my favourite songstress – Read More-
Amazing result for Arsenal yesterday. They beat West Ham 6 nil away from home. What’s actually incredible is not so much the ‘6’ as the ‘nil’. Because to attack with sufficient potency you would think that you must be compromising on defence. Spurs fans know this, right to their cores. But Arsenal managed to attack – Read More-
I’ve come up with a totally brilliant idea. I’ll share, but remember where you heard it first!!! No stealing my ‘rights’!! You see the problem with football, other than Chelsea, is that it is a game which naturally flows. It has a consistency and continuity which games like rugby or cricket lack. Ok, it stops – Read More-
They may have overstated things the other day when they said: ‘we’ll be waking your brother up later’. Because ‘later’, when I went in, they said ‘oh no, he needs to be on life support for at least another 4/5 days before we can do that’. Hmmmm. However, they’ve put these on his hands. Presumably – Read More-
There’s an old ‘definition’ of the Yiddish word ‘chutspa’, which broadly means ‘cheek’ or ‘liberty’, but much more so. A man is on trial for murdering both his parents and appeals on the grounds that he’s an orphan. That’s chutspa. And is, in fact, the very same plea that Donald Trump is using in his – Read More-
That is just so bloody typical of Charles. He’s always been jealous of my brother, always trying to outdo him, engage in one-upmanship, steal the limelight. Typical. So when we were kids and out in the car with mum and dad, Rich waved at someone through the window of our Ford Consul. Charles heard about – Read More-