Society is changing. In fact its always changing, evolving, modifying, improving(??), adjusting, progressing. One way or another. Its just a form of evolution, without the reproduction. Good things get kept and passed along to future generations, bad things fall by the wayside, become extinct. Like wearing top hats. Like giving up your seat on the tube for a pregnant woman (you sexist bastard). Like toga parties. Like Wimpy Bars. Yet still we mourn the passing of some of the old ways.

But some things, particularly here in Britain (I use that word really as an inclusive way of saying ‘London’ but extend it just to include all the horrible bits), have changed radically.

Violent crime is down. Alcohol abuse is down. Teenage pregnancy is down. All to record levels of lowness.

And this is such a problem now in places like Harlow, Colchester, Wigan, Maidenhead, that emergency services are perilously close to being able to cope on Friday nights. Normal civilians are now prepared to walk through Manchester town centre on a Saturday evening without getting caught up in an immense brawl as drunken yooofs leave their pubs and clubs amid a hail of flying bottles, screaming punch-ups and the massed aggro of booze-fuelled northern scum. Even in the south.

The very fabric of British culture; fightin’, boozin’, shaggin’, is being undermined by an insurgent group of neo-puritanical tee-totallers intent on ruining the very essence of our nation’s way-of-life. And this should not be allowed to happen.

The reason for this change of immense proportions (violence is down 12%!!!) is not because alcohol has been made much more expensive, nor that disposable income has been at an all-time low due to the recession. If that were the case then to sustain this level of improvement all we’d need to do would be just ensure that young people never get jobs, which successive governments have almost succeeded in doing.

But no. They reckon the reason why ‘kids’ don’t drink as much as their parents did, don’t do drugs, don’t fight as much, is because they’re all at home glued to their fucking computer screens ‘living’ life in the virtual world and Frikkin Facebook, rather than getting out there and having fun. (For ‘fun’ read; falling down drunk and getting your head kicked in whilst you lay there).

Two young women have a blog and a book called ‘The Vagenda’ and its a feminist look at both society and the magazines women read in which you find an article on one page about ‘being happy with your body’, opposite an advert for breast implants. Ok, so its Germain Greer for the digital age, but has some good things to say. If you’re a 20-something feminist, lesbian or great fat ugly bird with halitosis. I’m going to start my own, in reply, called The Dick-tator, and it too will be aimed at the same market. Ish.

Happy Thursday,

A xxxx