There’s something horrible about cheating. Let me re-phrase that; there’s everything horrible about cheating. No redeeming features whatsoever. Because, quite literally, no-one loves a cheat. Not even me. When my beloved football stars take an unnecessary ‘dive’, I hate it, it reflects on ME for some reason I haven’t yet worked out, and I accept the communal guilt by association. Yet a dive actually, strictly, almost ‘legally’ falls under that wonderful umbrella of convenience: ‘gamesmanship’. Like swearing at opponents, slagging off their sisters, trash-talk, ‘sledging’, whatever you call it. Gamesmanship.

But cricket is different. Always has been. Taking its roots from a bunch of upper-class aristocrats in Top Hats and tail-coats, it was always a game for gentlemen. To such an extent that it entered the dictionary as a metaphor for any form of dubious, immoral or questionable behaviour being described as ‘not cricket’. Boxing had the Marquis of Queensbury, cricket had the rest of the hoi-poloi. All of them. To ensure that their game not only retained its exemplary standards of behaviour and sportsmanship, but set a standard for the whole of society.

Then they showed the Australians how to play. Big mistake.

The biggest mistake was, rather annoyingly, that they were quite good at playing it. But really, to entrust the world’s poshest sport into the grubby hands of a bunch of criminally-descended street urchins was always destined to lower the entire tone of the game. The nation whose cultural contribution to the world is ‘Neighbours’. Quite honestly, if it wasn’t for Margot Robbie and Kylie, I’d wash my hands of the entire nation.

But it is what it is. You can’t turn the clock back. We can only deal with the fact that cheating has occurred, albeit in the most wonderfully stupid, ‘smile-for-the-camera’ way, and has probably been occurring for quite some while. Its institutionalised. We just need to see how deep it goes. Like the Russian athletics drug programme.

Went to Parliament Square to protest last night. And protest I did. Against the anti-semitism in the Labour Party. Was a great event. Though due to the traffic and the terrible sound system I could only hear one speaker of the 3 or 4 Labour MPs (obviously not Cowardly Corbyn) who stood up to tell of their shame on behalf of their party. But sad to say I’ve never been to a ‘do’ with so many Jews and been offered nothing to eat. No bagels. Not a solitary Danish. Nothing. And trust me; I looked.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx