How is it that I’ve never ever heard of campylobacter? When apparently it is the bacterium responsible for 280,000 cases of food poisoning a year and 100 deaths. Arsenal make you sick but campylobactor can actually kill. Amazing. And if you’re interested about his horrible thing, just buy a chicken from Asda and you’re virtually guaranteed to learn more. 78% of the chickens from that supermarket contained the bacterium. 67% of chickens from Marks & Spencer. So its not just about price. So I’m worried now, being a bit of a chicken lover.

And I have to wonder if kosher chickens get this too, or if its just the supermarket mega-mass production techniques that are to blame.

Kosher chickens have a much better life than those destined to end up at Sainsburys. They have carpets on the floor, to keep them clean in the yard. They have carers to make sure they bath regularly. They get to watch Stricly Come Dancing every week and they are fed at the dining room table. Then they go to heaven after a really nice ceremony involving wine and songs. And all for just six times the price of a regular chicken.

What about my beloved chicken campylobacter tikka masala? Is it safe? IS IT SAFE?????

Tottenham last night breezed through to the knockout stages of the Europa League of Plonkers. We beat Partizan Belgrade 1-0 and top our group. Yippee. But this wonderful victory was somewhat marred by pitch invasions. Remember pitch invasions? Big in the 70s. Though back then they were big things involving hundreds of fans at a time, normally in response to an opposing fan pulling out a chain-saw. Last night’s was more about individuals taking ‘selfies’ with the players. In the middle of the fucking match. It was planned and, I’m ashamed to admit, they were Spurs fans. Which you could tell because they weren’t waving Albanian flags nor anti-semitic insults. Like they did in the Belgrade match. Instead they were wearing ‘Base Bud’ t-shirts. So whether this was some publicity stunt, which coincidentally rhymes with the type of people who do such things, or just 3 drunk, misguided tossers, we’ll never know. You can watch it on YouTube if you like. And it really is just as pathetic and destructive as it sounds.

There again, our recent home form has been such that fans possibly need something in the way of entertainment. Why can’t they just do pilates then?

Happy friday

A xxxx