What do ya wanna do on Tuesday night, Luv? Fancy a curry?
No, we’ve got Xi Jinping coming over for dinner, thought I’d invite a few mates round. Maybe Mrs Xi will get pissed and sing a few songs for us.
Ok, shall we say a formal dinner for 430 then, in the great room at the Palace? Shame, I really fancied a curry.

The Chinese leader was met by the Queen. Driven to the Palace in a golden, horse-drawn carriage with a battalion cavalry riding alongside. He’ll stay at the Palace for 2 nights. Even though he’s a communist and really should be travelling by bike and sleeping in Gary Neville’s abandoned building with a bunch of like-minded squatters. But Xi, ever the man of the people, bit the bullet and, so as not to cause offence, agreed to stay in the abject luxury of the world’s biggest house (well biggest in this part of the world) with a team of servants to cater for his every need. Such a sacrifice.

But its not hypocritical. No. What’s hypocritical is inviting the bugger over in the first place.

I have no gripe against the Chinese people, all 1.6 billion of them. But the regime stinks. Its oppressive, repressive and vile. There is talk of ‘human rights issues’ but really the issue is that humans don’t have rights in China. They persecute Tibet, they murder any opposition and they are corrupt and brutal.

Yet we need their money. China finances the world. And David Cameron wants some. Wants lots, in fact. So we have to ‘make nice’ to the leader of a country which is allegedly ‘communist’ yet has masses of poverty whilst the ministers are all billionaires. Nothing hypocritical there then, either. Such is politics. You befriend people with whom you disapprove totally in order that you may benefit each other mutually in a financial way. Its called prostitution in other circumstances. In this instance you prostitute your principles for the finance for a nuclear energy plant.

And nice for Princess Katie, sitting next to the Main Dude. Looking sooooo bored. As you would seated next to someone who speaks no English. They ate Venison. Out of cardboard boxes with chop-sticks and everyone got a fortune cookie. Kate’s said: “you spend 5 hours with a dull-as-dishwater Chinese leader and an hour later you want another”.

Happy Days

A xxxx