David Cameron’s still in China. So I went to Tai Chi last night. Me mate Ken went out to the Hong Wah house and ate Kung Po chicken and Kev watched Fist of Fury. Mel stayed home and read Wild Swans. Its all part of ‘getting in touch with your inner Chinaman’ and following the example set by Mr Cameron. Josh went out and set fire to a Tibetan he found on Regent Street but he was extinguished by the fire brigade before any cars got damaged.
Tony Blair took the whole thing a bit too far, maybe, and got in touch with someone else’s Chinawoman. Its not my place to speculate on the ‘inner’ bit. Eeeuuuuwww.

And in return for this ‘association’, this olive branch of ‘brotherhood’ towards the most populous nation on the planet, they slagged us off. Britain, England, London. Said we weren’t ‘big players’ in the world, just an old European nation that’s good for tourism and education. Oh, and fucking Downton. For Christ sake. (That’s ‘sake’ as in ‘rake’, not as in ‘sar-key’)

The Chinese press were fairly nasty about us. The Global Times (owned by the government) called Brits ‘a bunch’a slags wot fraternize wiv the Dalai Poxy Lama’. Whereas the People’s Paper (owned by the communist party, which is different from the government because… er… because its spelt differently) made similarly snide and nasty comments about ‘interfering with China’. Maybe that was the Blair bit they were referring to.

Well Britain may no longer be a big power in the world, but we’ve still got the best football teams. China was designated ‘Red China’ because so many of its population support Manchester United.

The whole ‘reds under the bed’ concept came from a visit by Ryan Gigg’s wife to her sister, under who’s bed she found her own husband.

And so to the ‘Class of 92’. A new movie about David Beckham, Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Nicky Butt and the Neville brothers and their involvement in Manchester United and their success leading up to winning the triple in 1999. And although some of these guys are definitely, unashamedly, blatantly northern, I still want to see the film. Because these were indeed ‘special’ guys playing in a remarkable team. And we all love a football biopic. Maybe Mel not quite as much as some others, but it just HAS to be seen. I may have to go alone.

Happy wednesday

A xxxx