Before we dismiss Nadhim Zahawi as ‘just another money-grabbin’, tax-evadin’, in-it-f’rimself, stinkin’ rich Tory bastard’, I think we need to know more about ‘the man behind the bastard’, where he’s from, what he’s done. Only then can we judge the shit out of him based on scant information and lack of background. So I researched him thoroughly. Being the convicted Wikipedophile that I am.

Unfortunately, due to a computing error, the information received was superimposed upon the next entry in Wikipedia, which may have confused a lesser being but I managed to sort out quite easily, being clever and brilliant and, most importantly, not being particularly bothered about ‘facts’ or ‘truth’ or rubbish like that.

So Nadhim Zahawi-Ratcliffe was born in Iraq. As a little girl she grew up in Iran before marrying Jim Ratcliffe, the guy who wants to own Manchester United, possibly changing her name to Nazanin during this phase of obvious gender ambiguity. The blurred images weren’t clear at that point. She went to prison in Iran because she was dependant on Liz Truss and Boris Johnson for freedom and justice and as those two couldn’t organise a hymn in a church, she languished there for years. Then came over here and formed YouGov, the polling company, and although he was back as Nadhim, and a man, he chose to have his share of the company registered to Balshore Investments in Gibraltar. Which was a bit ‘taxy’ whichever gender he/she was at that time. Balshore Investments had nothing to do with the Zahawi-Ratcliffs other than full ownership of it. He was reunited with his daughter when he returned from Iran and the rest, as they say, is history. Except for him being the Chancellor, in charge of all the nation’s tax affairs, whilst dodging his own personal taxes. Nothing of any ‘conflict of interest’ in that.

I hope that clears up the entire matter, if not his reputation. Or her’s, perhaps.

Happy not at all confused Tuesday

A xxxx