Boris Johnson stood by Dominic Cummings for a long time. Defended him. Supported him. Even after Dom had taken a road trip with his family whilst having Covid and having overseen the ban on travel for the entire nation, did Boris, like Tammy Wynette before him, stand by his man. On the grounds that Dominic Cummings was the cleverest person Boris had ever met. Ok, not great on social skills, people management or sartorial standards but that wasn’t his job. His job was to be more clever than everyone else and more devious.

He was certainly more clever than Boris. I often feel that Joey is more clever than Boris. As for devious, the man has 34Gb of messages, recordings and videos of his time with Boris. So when the pm accused Dom of leaking some really minor league stuff, the bald misery replied with, basically: I didn’t leak that. You want leaks? Have some of this then! And blogged a whole raft of indiscretions and dodgy moves by our nation’s political leader. Terrible things. Bad things. Ending with describing Boris as: ‘lacking competence and integrity’. Which we know anyway. The ‘competence’ speaks for itself and for integrity just look at the various little blond children running round the capital with fat bellies and Received Pronunciation.

Dom specified two items in particular. Having the PM’s flat at Number 10 ‘decorated’, for £58,000. No crime in itself. But get Tory party funders to pay for it and it suddenly becomes a major crime. Personally I’m just dead curious to see what 58 grand’s worth of ‘decoration’ looks like when a big tin of white emulsion costs 20 quid.

Number two is even better. The second lockdown was due to be announced on a sunday. (All covid shit was announced on Sundays; coronavirus law, 88451.BJ.275) But because of a leak to the press, it had to be brought forward a day. To Saturday!! Holy shit!! Bad news announced on a Saturday!!! The world is in free fall.

So an inquiry was launched. As they do over every fucking thing so they can to keep civil servants in jobs. And it was looking like Carrie’s best mate Henry Newman was the culprit. And that would result in Carrie being seriously pissed off, which would impact negatively on Boris’s sex life. So Boris actually tried to have the whole inquiry called off, which is illegal, just so as not to upset (the next, future) Mrs Johnson. This story will run and run.

Which is a bit like this year’s football season. Seems to have been an increasing disaster for about 37 months. And now the only thing we have left is that we’re ahead of Arsenal. But you know what? That’s enough. Spurs fans are all trained to have limited aspirations and a high tolerance to disappointment, honed through years of practice.

Happy Monday

A xxxx