So we’re living the dream. It’s not raining. In fact its absolutely gorgeous out there. Bright, sunny, just a fab looking morning. A… tennis morning!!! Perfect! And yet, its fairly cold. We arrived on the court to find it a sheet of ice. So we went for a coffee, came back half an hour later, all that sunshine must do something, surely. Yup, now the courts are half a sheet of ice. And half ‘my side’. Cleared by the ‘heat’ of +3 degrees. I wanted to play. I could run around like the loony to which I aspire on my side. Spurs Paul would have to be a bit more careful though. It was ankle-twistingly, leg breakingly, serious concussionly icy on his half. Not my fucking problem.

If only someone could devise an indoor tennis court, not subject to the whims of the weather. Oh yeah, they did that and I hate them. Horrible lighting, nasty perspective, carpet-burns, horrible. But at least consistently horrible, regardless of wind, rain and snow. Or better still, a bit more global warming, but in the winter. You all need to produce more carbon. In the interests of tennis.

Don’t know if Nadhim Zahawi plays tennis. I know he doesn’t pay much tax because they just fined him about 3 million quid for being naughty and cheating on his tax return. Well, that’s a bit harsh. Some shares which may have looked like his were actually held in his parents’ names by an offshore trust managed in tax-free Gibraltar by a third-party, resident on Mars where tax rates are notoriously low, and withdrawn to a Cayman Islands bank account in the name of ‘Not Zahawi, someone else’. Nothing wrong with that. But like it or loathe it, we actually need people like that in government. People who live in the real world, are very successful in that world and understand finance and business beyond the sacred walls of the Palace of Westminster. Career politicians lack real world experience. Successful businessmen just ‘get it’. And if the chairman of our governing party tried to deprive the NHS of a few boxes of PPE to financially compensate himself for giving it all up for the nation, all the better.

Otherwise we end up being run by civil servants like Kier Starmer, who seems to understand nothing.

Happy, icy, sunny Saturday

A xxxx