When did the Indians become Cowboys?

I was very young when I heard about ‘an Indian restaurant’ opening up in nearby Gants Hill. The world was different then. Hamburgers were ‘exotic’ in 1969; pizza’s only made by Italians and Chinese food for the first time was the culinary version of a trip to Disneyland.

And now ‘Indian’. Wow. I was a kid. I expected to be served buffalo cooked on an open fire by red-skinned geezers with feathers in their hair and was worried that if I didn’t like the food they’d ‘scalp’ me with their tomahawks. Because to me ‘Indians’ were who Cowboys fought. And always won. They only travelled in thousands, on horseback, coming from the top of a hill. And this was in… Gants Hill!!!! (I lived there for 25 years and never actually found any raise in local topography of more than 0.6 of an inch).

But ‘those Indians’, the ones in the countless ‘western’ movies I loved, ceased to be Indians in 1987 (guessing) when they were promoted to ‘native Americans’. The ones left over after the ‘cowboys’ (or ‘non-native Americans’) had slaughtered the vast majority. ‘Genocide’ actually meant genocide in those days. A few years ago the American football team, the Washington Redskins, in a fit of woke capitulation, became the Washington Commanders. Washington Tossers, more like, but that’s ‘cultural progress’ in which we suppress all the things we’re really ashamed of in case future generations sue for ‘reparations’.

Now, Indians are Indians. From India. Where curry comes from. For which we are eternally, absolutely and emotionally grateful. Except Mel who hates curry.

And so, to cement our relationship with the Indian nation, and in appreciation for changing the dining experience of our entire country, we’ve made a ‘trade deal’. To compensate for tragic trade losses brought about by Brexit and the fact that America has become a joke. This deal is worth ‘billions’. How many, and to whom, depends who’s holding the calculator. But its big money. We’ll import all the… curry, at no tariff and they’ll reduce tariffs on the whisky and cars we sell to them. (If you’ve been to India you’ll realise that drink-driving is not only acceptable over there but actually improves the overall standard of motoring). Also, we get to import as many Indians as we like who will pay no National Insurance whilst working here. Which immediately upsets the Unions who see a vast influx of ‘cheap labour’ arriving here with their shovels ready.

This seems a bit ‘one-sided’ to me. Typical Starmer. Negotiation by capitulation. Just give them whatever they want. He did it with the Railwaymen and now with India.

They’ll be many mud-hut villages in the Punjab congested with so many Range Rovers that they can’t get to the shops to buy their Single Malts.

Whilst we enjoy all the saris we can eat.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx