You almost have to feel sorry for the Scots. Almost. Then you remember they’re Scottish and it becomes even harder to do so. And again, this is one of those weird things, every Scot you meet is lovely (I’ve never met Nicola Sturgeon nor Alex Salmond) but as a nation? A nation??? All that blue face paint and the spirit of William Wallace, Andy Murray, Trainspotting, Letter from America, and their collective dislike of everything south of Hadrian’s Wall? Nah. Yet you rarely find a Scot without a great sense of humour. Ok, possibly Gordon Brown. Self-deprecation is the national pastime, after ‘tossing the caber’, and their dry wit is legendary. But you’d have to have a wonderful sense of humour with a football team like theirs. A fabulous meme went up on Monday night within minutes of the final score against the Czech Republic stating that ‘Nicola Sturgeon will NOT accept that scoreline and will fight as long as it takes to get it rectified to the will of the majority of the Scottish people ’.

And on Friday they’re coming to Wembley to play England. Oh my. The match that has been building up… well, since last year when it should have been played. They’ve shown ‘the Gaza goal’ 14,653 times on tv. And even though it is a totally brilliant goal by a wonderfully brilliant SPURS PLAYER, I’m almost bored with watching it. What they should do is make more interesting, in case the match (as happens so often) doesn’t live up to expectations. They should make it a ‘winner takes all’ event. If Scotland win they can leave the United Kingdom. If England win we get Scotland and will sell it to China.

More importantly, its my birthday today. I’ve become ‘a man’! I don’t mean that in any gender fluid or reassignment way, just, I’ve ‘come of age’. But what a ridiculous age. 65. Holy shit. The card Mel found is so profoundly accurate and brilliant, I just had to ‘share’. Also, because its my birthday I am allowed to use that word without puking. But I won’t share my presents. I’m getting 3 this year, in keeping with the spirit of our world as it moves towards progress. A 1971 Dodge Charger, supercharged V8, to help with the environment. Three baby lambs to keep in the garden. For food. And a slave.

Happy birthday

A xxxx