Its all a load of bollocks. All of it. Everything. Every word spouted by ‘the scientific community’ and/or ‘government agencies’ is total rubbish, lies, never to be believed. Statistically speaking.

I went to the doctor a few years ago and they checked my cholesterol. “OH MY GO-O-O-OD!!!! FUCK MEEEEE!!!! ITS 6.2!!!!!!” They called an ambulance immediately, performed open-heart surgery, sucked out my veins with a vacuum cleaner put me on a kale and lemongrass diet…

Ok, they didn’t. But they did gasp and advise me strongly that ‘normal acceptable limits’ were up to 5.8 and I was ‘high’. Not in a good way, like stoned, but in a bad way like clogged arteries. My cholesterol. Dangerous. Killer shit. Gotta be reduced.

So I embarked upon a (relatively) healthy eating programme. Basically I reduced my coffee input by about 95% to just 9 cups a day, cut out McDonalds (3 x a week) and just carried on as normal.

And today I learn that those ignorant bastards were actually killing me. I learn that cholesterol is an essential and health-giving, life-lengthening thing and that high blood cholesterol actually MAKES YOU LIVE LONGER.

All those uneaten eggs, all that fat discarded, all those meals made ‘healthy’, all from a fatally flawed con. Perpetrated in the 1950s in (where else?) America. A dude called Ancel Keys found an upsurge in heart disease in America, which was probably due to everyone smoking 50 untipped Chesterfields a day, and blamed ‘cholesterol’. Which does in fact exist in high quantities in those with heart problems BECAUSE ITS THE BODY’S REPAIR AGENT. So its the effect of the problems, not the cause. What a tosser Ancel Keys turned out to be. Particularly as his initial studies, way less regulated than today’s (which are still in the most part jokeworthy) were ‘flawed’. Only in that he discarded massive amounts of data that didn’t fit with his hypotheses. Just cut out all of Greece, for example, and a bit of Bulgaria, two thirds of Esher…

Which is why ‘Atkins’ type diets work and the slimmed down down immediately drop down dead as soon as their 50th pound is lost. Because fat, however saturated, unsaturated, poly-ed or not, does not harm the body.

Whereas sugars and carbs??? Oh no. Don’t eat them. Nor fruit. They’ll kill you. Make you fat. Ruin your lungs, limbs, hair, toe-nails, liver, spleen and testicles.

So yes; its all a load of tosh. Eat what you like, drink like a lush, load up on fats, it just comes down to luck, genes and personal metabolism.

Spurs finished 5th in the league?? How could that possibly happen? Oh, because Liverpool got thrashed by Stoke. A team long regarded as ‘the Barcelona of…’ of nowhere. It took them 10 games to score 6 goals at the start of the season and Liverpool let them in 5 times in the first 45 minutes. Sam Allardyce will be at Anfield before the day’s done. Or Carlo Ancelotti.

Happy Bank Holiday Monday

A xxxx