Joey is in his ‘men in uniform’ phase. Not like when his mother was, that was different. Really different. This is the innocent’s obsession with uniforms which he wants to then wear. And, fortunately, Amazon, as in all walks of life, can provide. So some days he can be a soldier, others, a US ‘cop’, or another 6-year-old’s aspiration, a fireman.

If he was on the other side of the Atlantic, he might want to be a ‘firefighter’. But he’s not. He’s here. And over here, we have firemen.

Except one. She’s a firewoman. A firefightress. Anything but a ‘fireman’!!! To such an extent that she took her wing commander, or fire chief, or whatever he’s called, to court for persecution. Abuse. Misogyny. Mental stress brought on by constantly being called a ‘fireman’, just because she was dressed like one.

Ok, strictly speaking she has a point. I can’t bring myself to call it ‘discrimination’ because rather than using discriminatory terminology, they used the word to include her. Similarly, it would be ‘sexism’ if she was treated differently from all the… errrrr… from all the firepeople-with-testicles.

I’m sure there was banter going on. Offering her an iron or a mop, all the usual silly hi-jinks that boys do when there’s pressure on them to act in a civilised manner for which we’re simply not constructed.

I have a very simple rule of thumb for whether an issue should be brought to court. One question. Does it matter?

Obviously, we need to know to whom it might, or might not matter; that’s quite important. So, for consistency and ease-of-use, we’ll go with ‘does it matter to me. To Andy?’ And in the case of this fireperson, I’m; afraid it fails the test. It’s like suing Burger King because you weren’t served by a royal. ‘Fireman’ is just a name. It’s not a literal description.

And talking of names, today we’re naming ‘my party’. The political one. Currently called ‘Your Party’ but we’ve realised that such a name is almost as pathetic as those in it. So me and Jezza (Corbyn) and Zarah (Sultana) and a few other misfits, retards, simpletons and Arsenal fans are having a naming today. We need something that represents our ideology. We’re socialists, anti-imperialists, anti-zionists, anti-rich, anti-poor, anti-white, anti-social, anti-education and anti-freeze. We basically fucking hate everyone. Except Palestinians. Especially Hamas. We love them. As they represent the kind of tolerance, decency and inclusivity every political party should stand for. We like the IRA for similar reasons. In fact, any bunch of ‘freedom fighters’ works for us. However much murder and torture and sexism and discrimination and general death they stand for.

So please vote now. The front runners for the name currently are:

The Moronic Party
The Useless Party that will never win a seat anywhere.
The Supporters of Terrorism Party.
Bunch’a C**ts. Party!

Happy voting

A xxxx