Who would have thought that in the middle of a fucking global pandemic, we’d have the cheek to start doubting Albert Einstein? I mean, really? Einstein? He who has never been proved wrong, despite 43,573,865 degree and doctoral dissertations using ever-increasing computer power and vastly improved universe understanding, all failing to undermine one word (ok, one ‘number’, Einstein didn’t really do ‘words’) the great man spoke. How dare they question him now? Because of ‘dark matter’, that’s how. And how they’ve now mapped it across the galaxy and… and… and it don’t act like Alby said it would. In his maffs. In his revered ‘theory of general relativity’, which would produce more ‘clusters’ of the stuff, rather than the more even distribution that they in fact have found. And just because Albert virtually invented dark matter, just him and God one day in a coffee shop in Zurich in 1904, doesn’t apparently give him any control over how it actually ‘is’. In real life. Einstein never looked to the heavens. He looked down at a pen and paper. No observation, just sums. I reckon quite a lot of them. And because he actually met Marilyn Monroe, my money’s on Einstein. Watch this space. Literally so.

And we’re living in a world of variants. Dominic Cummings is a human variant. Not like a normal human, but a nasty, vindictive, cheating, lying, Asperger-ish human. Slagged off the health secretary something rotten. Not that he doesn’t deserve slagging off but some of those accusations! OMG! Not testing old people when they leave hospital before submerging them back into care homes without testing was perhaps not Matt Hancock’s wisest move. But claiming that ‘tens of thousands of lives could have been saved if the government had blah, blah, blah…’ is just so much hindsight bollocks. No-one knew. Not Boris, not Hancock and certainly not Cummings.

Coronavirus is so named because it resembles a crown. Albeit a spherical one. With little spikes on, giving it the ‘corona’. The Brazilian variant had spikes shaved to leave just a central, linear spike. The Moroccan variant was more cylindrical than spherical and looked like a Fez. And the Indian variant, the most dangerous of the moment, under a microscope, looks like Chicken Tikka Massala with a peshwari naan, pilau rice and onion bhaji with aloo gobi on the side.

Happy Friday

A xxxx