People today, singles, tend to meet online. And marrieds sometimes, even though they shouldn’t. But I’m not talking about morality in this instance, this is more about shagging.

A girl from Epsom in Surrey ‘meets’ a boy from Boston Massachusettes, online. They ‘chat’, they skype, they flirt. Boy starts behaving a little stalkerish, a little paranoid, a little psychotic, but heh, he’s a yank, its well within normal limits for the type. Girl breaks off relationship. Boy pays a visit, unbeknownst to the girl, flys in, stays in the local Premier Inn (so you know he’s desperate and unbalanced) breaks into girls house and stabs her repeatedly with a knife until her brother stops him just as he’s about to kill her. True story. Much as anything you read in the papers is ‘true’. Boy gets life in jail. And hopefully some serious therapy.

So, an object lesson against internet dating. Yet, when you meet someone in a bar or a club, you have no idea about their psyche. You don’t know a fundamentalist Christian from a fucked up Cannibal just by looking. And even if you did, who would be the better bet? But I like to think that instincts can be pretty good, and judgments made on superficial evidence. Its how we deal with the world every day.

In my dating days, (with a wooden club, wearing a loin cloth, looking for a woman to drag back to my cave), I was never short of confidence. No charm, no personality, I was dog ugly, but in my mind I was irresistably gorgeous. And my mum would agree with me. So it must have been true. Yet I was not without success.

There’s the answer then. You wanna meet people, put your fucking phone down for ten sodding minutes and GET OUT THERE. Ahhhh, another problem. I’m shy. I’m spotty. I’m ugly. I’m obese. I’m not good at talking to strangers. Hmmmmmm…

Then you need coaching. That’s all. Its just a matter of confidence in yourself, your personality and your ability to pretend to be charming, interesting and shaggable. Though really, its just about initiating discourse. As opposed to intercourse.

In steps Julien Blanc. Here’s a man, albeit another American one, who can change your fortunes with women, who can change your success, who can change you entire life. From nebachy nerd to desirable hunk in just one course of lectures, a dvd box-set or $99.99 online subscription. A ‘PUA’. That’s a pick-up artist (‘scuse me while I puke). Ok, Julien crosses the line from ‘how to be confident enough to meet women’ to ‘how to fuck any woman you meet, even if she’s patently not interested and would rather eat her own leg than get naked with you’. And its that line that’s caused the problem. The one that’s between ‘be assertive’ and ‘ignore the word ‘no’ and even screams of RAPE!!!!’

So we’ve banned him from entering the country to lecture. The Home Secretary herself, Teresa May, who no-one has ever approached in any situation anywhere with an offer of anything, deemed this man a threat. Like a jihadi. Almost like a Lithuanian murderer, but those we let in.

We need people to help our young get together (apparently). But the Julien Blancs of this world do tend to slightly overstress the ‘from zero to sex in 11 minutes’ part of things. But to ban him? Get a grip.

Happy Saturday. Been busy. Don’t ask.

A xxxx