We’re at the Dead Sea. The lowest point in the world. That’s relative to sea level. If it was the lowest point from a moral standpoint then I’d be in Las Vegas. But I’m not, I’m here in the Holy Land looking at the amazing salt lake in the middle of a desert. It was a 2 hour drive from Netanya in north-Central Israel. And you go down towards Jerusalem and then follow the West Bank all the way down. And we saw a bit of ‘the Wall’, that most contentious of things. And it looked pretty much… like a wall. Then we hung a left (following Waze, of course, like an Uber driver; blindly, naively and unknowingly placing all my faith in an app on my phone) and drove into Palestine. Oh. Palestine. Ok. Or not? I’ve driven through Arab villages before, they’re all over Israel and they’re fine. But the occupied West Bank? Actual, for’real Palestine? Ok, its the Fateh bit rather than the Hamas bit but still. We saw the wall again. But this time from the inside, I cunningly worked out. As it was on the other side of the car and we were still heading south. And from this side, the Wall looked… like a wall. And then we drove round and back to Israel, according the wishes of the god, Waze.

I won’t lie and claim I felt persecuted, repressed, empathy with the plight of the poor Palestinians, I can’t really state that I was even nervous. Mainly because at no time was I ever sure precisely where I was. We didn’t see crowds of stone-throwing youths, groups of shooting soldiers, ululating women beating their chests, tanks screaming backwards with turrets swirling. Nothing. But I reserve the right to claim heroic status, just… because.

We’re staying in a place called Ein Gedi. Its an oasis. Nothing to do (thankfully) with either Gallagher brother, nor any kind of arrogant Mancunians at all. A natural oasis in the desert filled with waterfalls and little freshwater lakes you can swim in and trees and green and all manner of un-desert-like stuff. And its hot here. Hellish hot. As you’d kind’a expect. Because on the drive down you leave Europe and you enter the middle-east for real. Sand and dunes and camels and searing heat, its an incredible and quite sudden transformation. Mainly because all of Israel used to look like this bit until they Europeanised the northern bit extensively.

But this is the real, biblical Palestine/Israel/Canaan of old. Down here was Sodom & Gamorrah. Which, apparently, made Las Vegas seem like Rome. Jesus probably walked round here at some point. So the place is now full of Christians. Proper, guitar-playing, hymn-singing ones making a pilgrimage. Many of them (the Germans) actually putting the ‘grim’ into pilgrimage.

So forgive me (Lila) for I have sinned. Not forsaken you, that would never happen, but just thought for once a photo for purely explanatory purposes was called for. And I look fucking gorgeous.

Happy Friday

A xxxx