We were in Paris the night Princess Diana died there. I personally had nothing to do with it. Honest. And as proof, I was never named in one of the 863 conspiracy theories that went round at the time. We were driving back from Disneyland and had to take a detour because the Peripherique was shut around ‘the scene’. But this was long long ago so we didn’t find out the news until we reached Calais and someone mentioned it. Diana had died. Car crash. Holy shit. And it was a tragedy. Lovely young woman, a mother, dying in such stupid and avoidable circumstances. I didn’t cry but it was horrible.

Then the world went totally fucking insane. Diana was instantly elevated to sainthood by public demand and literally millions of people queued up to sign ‘the book’, standing in line for half a day to do so. I signed my own book at home and saved the time. Diana was unlikely to read either so I didn’t think it too disrespectful. There was a never-ending crowd of sobbing chest-beaters around Kensington Palace. England went into hysteria mode, for weeks and weeks. It was, quite frankly, ridiculous.

And now Channel 4 want to air a programme that shows previously unseen videos of the Princess at her most pissed-offed. Charles was having the affair with Camilla, that he’d never stopped having. Diana was having affairs with numerous people herself. In fact with virtually every man in Britain except me. The Queen was unsupportive of her, Prince Phillip many still believe had some part in her demise. But that’s bollocks. It was a car crash. But ya never know.

Diana’s brother, the rather pompous Earl Spencer, wants the programme stopped. Too upsetting, too distressful for ‘the family’, blah, blah. And you know what, I agree with him. Because I’m worried that Diana-mania will resurface once more as a consequence of the film, the Royals will suffer as they did last time, hitting an all-time low in popularity, but obviously not Wills and Harry who are loved and only stand to be raised further by anything to do with their mother. But that insanity that gripped the country was pure loony tunes. And I don’t want it happening again.

There, I’ve said it. We don’t need such a programme. Show pro-celebrity golf instead.

Happy Monday

A xxxx