In celebration of Labour’s one year anniversary of winning the general election, I’m going to travel the whole country telling everyone I meet how wonderful this government is, what a joy it is to live in Britain under Starmer’s command and how they should all be sending their postal votes NOW for the next election, in 2029.

Actually, I’m travelling the whole country to go to a destination wedding. It’s in the Yorkshire Moors. Though the invitation is a bit more precise than that. So we’re travelling today for the wedding tomorrow. Yorkshire’s a ‘destination’, innit?? You have to put it in Google Maps, so it’s your destination. Some people might assert that 200 miles up the M1 is not exactly ‘the whole country’. Well it fucking feels like it. And who really cares about the other bits? Like Middlesbrough and Bristol and a saddened, mourning and sorrowful Liverpool.

Liverpool is ALWAYS saddened, mourning and sorrowful. It’s the natural state of the Scouser. It’s almost aspirational. They like nothing more than moaning, complaining and feeling persecuted. Just because since 1961, NOTHING worth having has come out of that city. The Beatles left and that was it. Over. So all they have to ‘celebrate’ is the bad shit. So they embrace it and make it last until a new tragedy comes along. Thus we had about 45 years of Hillsboro’, ok, there were a few league and cup wins along the way, but they didn’t let them get in the way of the overwhelming depression of the city. Even when they win the league some mofo ploughs into the celebrations. And now we have Diogo Jota. Which is an absolute tragedy. Crashed his Lamborghini. Footballers who crash are ALWAYS in Lamborghinis. Probably because no-one else drives them. Who needs to spend 350 grand to look like a drug dealer? A few hefty gold(-plated) chains and a pistol would do the job for less than 500 quid.

But happy birthday to the government. A year of… well, not too much really. Lots of proclamations, all shouted down by their ‘vast majority’. Who aren’t really a ‘majority’ in any normal sense. Rather, they’re a group of disparate minorities, ideologically, banded together temporarily in the ‘broad church’ of Labour. Like putting al Quaeda, the Mossad and the Spanish Inquisition in a room together and expecting that a few cakes will bring them together.

Hence the ‘new party’. Ok, it doesn’t have a name yet, and so far has one confirmed member: Zara Sultana. She’s named Jeremy Corbyn as a ‘partner’ but he hasn’t actually confirmed his interest yet. Zara has also said she’ll bring in the ‘independent’ MPs into the party which cannot be named. Because no-one has named it. All we know is; it will be a ‘proper left-wing’ party. With all the shit that implies. And as these ‘independents’ won their seats on a ‘death to all Jews’ policy, plus bearing in mind Corbyn’s natural position, which is alongside Adolph Hitler, it will be interesting to see what direction ‘new party’ will take.

What will happen is that this will divide Labour. What will John McDonald do? Diane Abbot (aka: ‘the liability’), one-time shag of Corbyn and his main cheer-leader. All those of the ‘vast majority’ who are naturally way to the left of Starmer. Like Angela Rayner. But she has her eye on the leadership.

So happy birthday to the hapless shape-changers that we call ‘government’, and we can only wait and see what the Anti-Semite party will bring to the party. Well, it’s a name, innit?

Happy Friday

A xxxx