Oh no, its the tragedy or tragedies: England are OUT of the World Cup. Even though it was ‘coming home’ (stupid fucking expression), it has decided to stay away for another 4 years. Possibly somewhere warmer. Argentina or maybe Morocco. Hopefully not France because… well, just on principle. But not England. Won’t be coming here. It’s just like 2018 all over again! 2014… 2010, 2006, 2002… 1974, 1970 and 1962. (The World Cup did exist before tv but not in any meaningful sense). In fact it only ‘came home’ once and the Beatles were on the throne at the time. I do think Spurs fans are best placed to deal with this catastrophic national calamity, because this is our world. We excel at not winning things. But doing it really well. Stylishly.

If Harry had just scored that second penalty…

Then it would, in all likelihood, have just delayed the agony, going to extra time, penalty shoot-out and giving the rest of the team the opportunity to feel as shitty as he does today. We have a bit of a ‘history’ with penalty shoot-outs.

My dirhams are now on Morocco. Not because I like them in any way, heaven forbid. But because they’re just amazing. They beat Belgium, Spain and Portugal, whilst fielding just one player I’ve ever heard of. Ziyech from Chelsea. Not a good omen. Argentina lost a lot of fans by choosing to celebrate their penalties victory over Holland by taunting and laughing at the crest-fallen losers. Nice. And Croatia… have a lot of players whose names end in -ic. All of their players, in fact. Management… fans…

Anyone can play tennis on a hot sunny day in Wimbledon. Only real men (and total fucking idiots) can play in the ice, fog and frost. I wore a sweat band under my beany hat. And then you get really hot and a bit sweaty, so you take the hat off and your heads a bit damp from sweat so it instantly freezes. Thus I took one glove off, went the (not quite) full Michael Jackson, to try and regulate my temperature, left the scarf on and removed my jacket. That worked. One hand, my feet and head were then at -5 Celsius, my body and neck were at 48 and my legs at 39. Which averaged at 37!!! Perfect body temperature! Job done.

Happy cold Sunday

A xxxx