On a scale of 1 to 7.5, rate each of these things for stupidity, with ‘1’ being ‘actually quite sensible really’ and 7.5 being ‘ARE YOU FUCKING MENTAL????’ Goddit?

Playing tennis with a dodgy shoulder when everyone’s told you not to.

Losing 2-1 to Manchester City after being a goal to the good.

Having a referendum to leave Europe.

Being Boris Johnson.

Voting for Donald Trump.

Shooting the Russian ambassador to Turkey.

Please keep your answers so secret that not even you know them. Mainly because I don’t care what you think. Barely care what I think.

But shooting the Russian ambassador. HOLY SHIT!!!!!! The word ‘repercussions’ was virtually invented for just that awful scenario. Maybe the off-duty cop wot done it had a case of mistaken identity and thought he was shooting the Swedish ambassador. In which case there’d be a diplomatic outcry, closing of embassies, strong words of condemnation.

This was a Russian. Putin’s mate. Not in a Trumpy way, a real mate. From the hood. Shot by some Turkish nutter. Sorry, I mean by some poor, misguided soul. But, like, really REALLY misguided. Because Putin is all about cojones. He not only has to appear tough, he has to act tough. To never flinch, never back down. And really, when you have the biggest and most dangerous army in the world watching your back, you can act as tough as you want.

It was about Syria. Revenge (???) for Aleppo. So the killer stated. Just before they shot him. So 50,000 Syrians killed by Russian bombs equals one fat Russian. Doesn’t add up. But it was just a ‘statement’. A short, loud statement. A phrase often used to describe my dear wife.

The Turks hate Assad. He’s the ‘neighbour from Hell’. So they supported the rebels. Especially as the Kurds were with the rebels and Turks hate Kurds. To actually simplify feelings in that part of the world, its probably more explanatory to just say ‘everyone hates everyone else’. And they all hate the Russians. Rightly so. Or wrongly so, depending which side of the insanity you view it from.

Then a lorry ploughs into a happy, Christmassy street market in Berlin. Terrorism is suspected. No shit. Who else but a deeply religious person would murder 12 innocent people?

Ich bein ein Londoner.

Tragic Tuesday

A xxxx