I’d just like to say that I have no desire to be the leader of the Labour Party. I’ve spoken to Wes Streeting and he doesn’t want the job either. In fact, I think it safe to say, no-one wants that fucking awful job whilst our proudly Labour government is doing such a terrible job of running things. And the funny thing is: no-one has stated that they want to get rid of Kier Starmer. Even though he is about as popular with the general population as a rapist asylum seeker with a knife. But less effective. And within our party he’s even less popular. Yet no-one has actually stated intentions to depose him. The ‘rumours’ all came from number 10. The work of Morgan McSweeney, Starmer’s chief-of-staff, in an attempt to pre-empt the inevitable. Coming out to thwart a rebellion which doesn’t in fact exist. Until those thwarted realise it’s not a bad idea. Hmmmm… Starmer gone… hmmm…

So to avoid all the bollocks, I’ve taken off for a day. I’m going out for dinner. But that’s also a problem. I mean, it’s just too easy, ‘going out for dinner’. You can jump in the car and be at a McDonalds within 5 minutes in any direction. Or you can get on the tube and go into town and choose from any of the 95,366 restaurants available. Or you could go into ‘the countryside’, loads of lovely pubs and restaurants there, but is that really where you want to go?

No. Where you really want to go is Narbonne. Yes, Narbonne. South-west France. Because there they do ‘dinner’ like nowhere else. Well, a bit like everywhere else, but much, much better and infinitely, much bigger. Iss French, innit, so it must be better. But this is the world’s finest ‘all you can eat buffet’. It is magnificent. And you just eat your way round it. But its posher than your normal ‘all you can eat’, so you have to use a plate, rather than rubber gloves and a bib. And apparently you’re not allowed to push people out the way to get at the lobsters.

And all you have to do to get a table is, get yourself to Stansted airport where Ryanair will take you, with all speed but not a lot else, to Toulouse. Where you just jump in a car and drive it for 161kms and you’re here!!! It’s so easy! Who needs to limit their horizons and go to The Villa Blanca in Hampstead or the Rising Sun and Lion in Highgate, when Norbonne is ‘like, literally’ just around the corner??? Ok, quite a few corners.

I’ll let you know how it goes. It’s like every food challenge ever, all at once. With really good wine.

Happy, hungry Thursday

A xxxx