I’m a disagreeable, reckless extrovert. And if you agree with that, then you’re not a Londoner. Because we’re ‘disagreeable’, apparently. Therefore you shouldn’t agree. Instead you should jump off a tall building whilst stark naked and singing the National Anthem at the top of your voice. That’s what reckless extroverts should be doing most of the time, surely?

Scientists at Cambridge (with nothing better to do and doubtless trying to justify a research grant) tested the ‘personalities’ of 400,000 people to try to find regional variations.

Before we concern ourselves with their findings, and the massive impact these will have on our lives (???), its worth looking at psychological testing in general, and online testing even more so, as this test was performed by the BBC online.

If IQ is defined (by many) as ‘the ability to perform well on IQ tests’, and nothing more, then personality tests should be pretty straightforward. But they’re not. Because we (the subjects) are humans, and the human condition means we think. Then we overthink. So when someone asks you a question, you don’t spurt out the immediate, visceral, knee-jerk response. You ask yourself what is ‘really’ being asked. What does the questioner expect me to say? How will various answers to that question make me look?

Q: “What do you think of Nigel Farage?”
A: “HE’S A C*******NT!!!!” (the initial, uncensored, honest reply)
A: “He’s a misguided man with seemingly honourable intentions” (Mr Moderate)
A: “He’s a bad joke that’s become its own reality” (Pretentious Tosser)

No-one wants to be seen in a bad light. So, particularly when you’re being tested remotely, in the time and comfort of your own home/office, you can consider your answers before carefully choosing your reply.

I cannot believe that there are 10 million ‘disagreeable, reckless extroverts’ in London. We can’t all be the same, that’s the very nature of ‘personality’, itself a concept so vague and unquantifiable that no two people will ever agree on the ‘personality’ of a third. That’s why so many people use ‘football team supported’ as a much more accurate measure for stereotyping people. It has far greater predictive value than the almost meaningless ‘personality’.

People in South Wales are ‘introverted and neurotic’. All of them. Yeah. Right.

The Scots are agreeable and calm. Though not necessarily in Glasgow on a Friday night. Nor at Auld Firm matches.

Northerners are introverted and agreeable. No they’re not, they horrible, rude and speak funny.

People in Norfolk don’t have any personality at all. (I made that one up)

In fact the only interesting fact to come from this study (or the quarter of a page in the Times relating to it) was that ‘neurotics are more likely to vote Labour’. An interesting thought.

Happy Wednesday. Unless you live in Swansea, Dumfries or the Isle of Mann.

A xxxx