The deal’s done, the Euros have been conquered by the sheer charm, the amazing wit, the scintillating charisma and analytical sharpness of the fat blond geezer wot runs our country. I hope they locked their wives and daughters up for the duration of his stay.

There was lots of bonhomie and back-slapping and congratulations and even little snakes like Macron and Teutonic lumps like Merkel were drawn into the sphere of apparent loving camaraderie that exists around Boris-in-full-flight. Brussels was positively awash with ‘gush’.

And Boris came away with an agreement for a deal. Holy shit. The holy grail… almost. He came away with a ‘deal’ approved by the EU. Yet that remains (no relation) the easy task, just the first step. The big task, the big ask, the mountain yet to climb, the living of the impossible dream, is to get parliament to approve it. Which is much harder.

With Europe you’re dealing with 27 countries who all, basically, want the same thing. Whereas our parliament is comprised of Leavers, Remainers, Second Referendumers (in two flavours, another leave/stay one or a ‘choose the deal’ one), all of whom are again divided along party lines and national divisions. Cross referenced by colour, creed, religion and shoe size. It’s not easy to get ‘accord’.

Corbyn is in lots of trouble. Damned whatever he does, so it would seem. He was almost violently opposed to ‘leaving with no deal’ and yet simply cannot agree with this (or any) deal. And however he and his party choose to vote on Saturday, he knows it will probably ruin any chances for them to win, or possibly even come second, in the general election that will follow.

Corbyn’s problem is that leaving the European trading block, which is the ‘taking back control’ bit, opens Britain up to do its own trade deals with other countries, on our own. Most see this as a positive. But in that weirdly distorted lack of a brain, which supports Arsenal, inside Jezza’s head, ‘doing trade deals’ means ‘selling out to America!’ Who, he seems to think, will privatise the NHS!!!! He thinks this because he’s stuck somewhere between the Russian revolution and the Vietnam War and can’t seem to get out. He’d rather do trade deals with Venezuela (socialist but bankrupt) as did Ken Livingstone, with Putin (nice man all round) and with Cuba and North Korea. They may have nothing to sell, can’t afford to buy and have the worst economies on the planet, but at least they’re his mates. He’d rather have Hamas and Hezbollah on board that any nation who might actually have something to offer.

The vote is on Saturday. After the rugby. Let’s hope something positive comes or we’ll still be agonising over fucking Brexit at the next rugby World Cup. God help us.

Happy pre-Saturday-day

A xxxx