I went out for dinner last night. Oh wow, did you, Andy, I’ll alert the fucking media…

No, I did. Round to friends. Not just any friends but to Mr & Mrs My Favourite Gooner in the World, friends. Possibly the only Arsenal fan in the competition as I generally try to avoid such friendships for obvious reasons. Anyway, come to dinner, for 7.30. So we duly arrived and by 7.40 I was comfortably sipping a nice Scotch and trying to change the subject away from Arsenal’s 5-nil win at Southampton. Which finished, not coincidentally, at 7.27. We ate, we drank, we talked, we shouted, we laughed (these are decidedly ‘good people’, not in any moral sense, obviously, he’s a Gooner, but good nonetheless), just six of us, having fun.

Then, The Judge, for that’s what he did when he was still a valuable and contributing member of our society, announced that at 10.00, he was taking his leave of us. Oh. To go upstairs and watch the boxing. Well, Tyson Fury fighting Usyk for the uncontested, most contested contest the world of boxing has ever known, in the fat bastard class, simply couldn’t be missed.

And I love this. Love the fact that he simply knew we wouldn’t mind. Love the fact that the remaining five of us just carried on anyway. And I love the fact that the delightful Mrs Favourite Gooner (even though she’s a Spurs fan ‘by birth’) arranged a super meal, eaten in comfortable relaxation, within the parameters of the day’s essential sporting events. She should be knighted.

But I didn’t want to watch the boxing. I’m not the biggest fan of the sport in usual circumstances. But these weren’t usual circumstances. These were two very distinguished gentlemen engaged in battle. With their major distinction being that they are both fucking horrible, vile, disgusting people. Fury is the scumbag’s scumbag and Usyk an evil piece of shit. Ok, Ukrainian shit, to whom we’re supposed to exhibit national support, but shit nonetheless. And I don’t mind watching horrible people in sport if they’re going to lose, much like I watch Manchester City currently, or Novak Djokovic, but when you know one of them has to win? Nah. The only exceptions are Emma Raducanu, Keely Hodgkinson, Katie Boulter. Who knows if they’re horrible, they look great, therefore need to be watched. Chelsea and Tyson Fury? Don’t think so. Unless they were playing each other, then one would have to lose.

It’s hard being a sport’s fan. Harder if you have a misplaced sense of decency combined with a love of long legs.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx