Oh! My! Go-o-o-d!!! You just won’t believe this! Its just unreal. Its, like, totally incredible and, quite honestly, hard to believe. In a really unbelievable way? Ya know what I mean?

But there’s this guy, right, and he’s like ‘really old’ and little and balding, wears glasses, and, like, he can make as much money as Kevin de Bruyne!!!! Who is young and fit and plays for Manchester City and is on the telly every week and was even in the World Cup, though not for very long. And he’s really really famous!!!

This old guy is some lawyer or other, and he’s going to play for Manchester City too! But only, like, ‘on loan’, even though he missed the official transfer window. And he’s an Arsenal fan so I don’t think he’ll be doing much kissing the Man City shirt.

The news that Lord David Pannick, KC, is to represent City in their ‘appeal’ against the charges by the Premier League, all 115 of them, for, essentially, being lying, cheating, bribing, money-laundering scumbags, has been met with amazement. Not that he’s representing them, he’s acting for them before. Not that he’s not good enough, he’s probably the best in the land. But because he might earn as much as a famous footballer.

And I expect such amazement and comment from Lilly Love-Island Lover, or Ines the Instagram Influencer Ignoramus and all others who’ve embraced ‘celebrity culcha’ with every fibre of their tragically obsessed aspirations. Those who equate ‘bein’ on tv’ as the absolute pinnacle of success and all its consequent benefits.

But these very same sentiments were expressed by the Times. By the BBC. “THIS MAN WILL EARN AS MUCH AS KEVIN DE BRUYNE!!!!”, they both proclaimed.

Firstly, all accounts of his fees, both past (as they quoted) and present, are hypothetical. Fabricated. Fictional and always exaggerated by the press.
Secondly the man is arguably the finest legal brain in the country who can possibly save or salvage part of the hundreds of millions which Man City might otherwise lose. He can’t do much for their reputation but even God can’t do that.
And thirdly, there are many ‘old, balding, spectacle wearing men’ who are fucking gorgeous and worth every fucking penny!!!! (Possibly the man who operated on granny and saved her life, the one who invested his pension so it makes money and I’ll include ‘the one who gives the power of sight!!)

There are a few things EVEN more important than the ability to kick a football. Even when you kick it as beautifully as Kevin de Bruyne.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx