BBC4 to the rescue again last night. What a fabulous tv channel that is. They have a back catalogue of 284 million of the best documentaries the world’s ever known and they just rotate them. And loads are about music.

We had ten round for dinner last night. To tell the story of the passover. As ya do. And we told it. The correct way. By eating lots of symbolic and traditional foods (matzos, bitter herbs, blood of Christian babies, teriyaki lettuce…) and then we ate a proper meal and we adhered to the universal Jewish rule of ‘keep eating until you feel sick/ready to burst, then eat loads more’. So afterwards, once the table was cleared and the guests all gone, you can’t just go to bed. You need to sit, relax, have a cup of tea (me), drink half a bottle of vodka (Mel), enjoy a full bottle of gin (Rachie) and digest. And watch tv. Its essential.

And once again, 690 channels of total rubbish, and golf (same difference); and BBC4.

American Rock Legendary Tracks. With the usual talking heads describing how the songs came about, what they meant, how they have to give you goosebumps to really achieve legendary status, and, 30 years on, how stupid old men look with unnaturally black hair wearing sunglasses in a darkened room. Like Gene Simmons, although Kiss didn’t actually make a ‘legendary’ tune. And Gene wasn’t on it because, like all good Jews, he too was relating the tale of the exodus from Egypt whilst eating chicken. Though the programme was probably made a decade ago.

Rock music started with the Kinks. I’d never really thought of that, but that’s what it is. Which I love because not only are they English but they are London through and through. Muswell Hill, to be precise.

The first ‘legend’ was Born to be Wild. Ok, fantastic track, great driving music, headbanging essential, but for me at least, no goosebumps. Similarly Alice Cooper’s School’s Out. Brilliant anthem for every schoolkid in the world, where they can pretend to be fuck-you rebels whilst still achieving straight As.

Meatloaf. Yeah, ok, ish. But then the glam boys came, in the late 70s, early 80s. And there we find some serious goose bumpage.
I wanna know what love is. Fantastic track. Made with a full choir singing its collective heart out. But is it ‘rock’ or just ‘power ballad’???? Ooooh, that’s tricky, as if anyone cares at that point.

Don’t stop believing. Simply brilliant. Always was. Even featuring on ‘Glee’ couldn’t kill that one off. Survivor’s Eye of the Tiger, from Rocky. Powerful, driving, METTTTTTALLLLL.

The problem is that I’ve always struggled with Journey, Foreigner, Toto, Survivor, because they all look and sound exactly the same. In fact they were just one band, one haircut (or not cut), one sound. But heh, it worked. For (all of) them. And for me too.

Living on a Prayer. Can you be a ‘serious rocker’ when you’re as pretty as Jon Bon Jovi??? A question philosophers will ponder for all eternity.

And my own absolute fave of that genre, coming a little later, but mind-blowingly brilliant; Smells Like Teen Spirit. The ulitmate rock song. Mel and I were shaking heads on the sofa so violently I can’t move my neck this morning. Well, metaphorically.

Happy heavy Tuesday

A xxxx