It is now 7 days before the Spurs Arsenal match. Next Sunday afternoon. I’m going to try to be busy elsewhere. To avoid the nail-biting, sweating, swearing, suicidal, tea-spilling, table-thumping, head-banging, wife-beating (as if) anxiety that match produces. I haven’t been to a live derby game in about 10 years. And cringe my way through the televised ones from behind the sofa. Even when we’re playing well (I’m old; have a long memory) it fills me with dread.

We’re not, currently, playing well. We’re not even playing poorly. Or badly. Or terribly. We’re just shit.

But wait! We have a new manager! That’s good! Isn’t it?

Igor Tudor has been brought in as ‘interim’ manager until the end of the season, when we’ll install a new ‘proper’ manager. The irony being that at Spurs, ‘interim’ managers often last longer than ‘proper’ ones. It is what it is. Igor has 3 months to ‘get us out of trouble’. With ‘trouble’ here meaning relegation. Which is currently, an uncomfortably close consideration.

The manager is ‘dead’, long live the manager.

This one has had 11 jobs in 10 years. So is perfect for Spurs general managerial ethos. But what he virtually always does is raise a team quite highly, but only for a little while. Which means, quite honestly, that he’s the perfect man for the job.

Or would be if he had any idea of our Premiership. Which alas he does not. He’s a Croatian. He’ll have to go places to overtake Luka Modric as ‘my favourite Croatian ever’, but getting my love could be a motivating force for him. He’s managed all over the place, France, Turkey, Greece, Croatia and Italy. Mickey Mouse leagues, the lot of ’em. Bunch’a lazy, strolling, Oscar-winning divers, divas and tossers. Which is why Spurs can be the forth best team in all of the European elite, ahead of Barcelona, PSG and Real Madrid, whilst languishing in 16th place in the English Premier league, miles behind giants of the game like Leeds, Crystal Palace and Brentford. Quite frankly, our league is faster, harder and way better than all the others. Adapting to it, either for players or managers is never easy. But heh, if Igor can get us past Arsenal with some self-respect, I’ll willingly bear children for him.

Interesting that in Scotland (the most ‘mickey mouse’ league of them all) Hearts were miles ahead of Celtic and Rangers at the top of their table. Now its just 2 points ahead. The last time a non-Glasgow team won the league was Alex Ferguson’s Aberdeen in 1984. So really, for the same of giving the entire nation a small modicum of footballing respect (possibly very small), COME ON HEART OF MIDLOTHIAN!!!

Happy Monday

A xxxx